I just found out my husband was chatting with a female and it wasn't just an innocent chat. She messaged me and sent me screenshot telling me that she thinks he's talking to other females as well..
I confronted him and he said he did it because I was being such a **** to him so he didn't care about my feelings anymore.
Like... wow!!! Thanks alot..
That's always his go to.. really ticks me off, I was like if we had problems communicating why didn't you suggest counseling instead of turning to another female.. he said cuz he wanted to hurt me.. what do I do with that
1 Heart
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@thiswillpass
I completely agree 
It doesn't matter whatever problems you had between the two of you. There was NO excuse for him doing what he did. He cheated on you, period. You're so lucky this person had the decency to tell you about it. I wish someone would have had the decency to tell my what my husband was doing. I had to find out piecing stuff together instead. The fact he blamed you and the relationship issues, is proof he's not nearly sorry, remorseful, or repentant about what he did. I'm so sorry I had to be the one to tell you this because I remember you from a group we were in together. I know it hurts. But it's the God's honest truth.
2 Hearts
@Scat
Nope he said sorry, BUT…
then his reason why he did it…I’m so upset that he really isn’t sorry because I wouldn’t have found out had this girl not sent me proof and he blames me for his actions. How typical.
The fact he blames you and doesn’t take responsibility, f his punk a$$. Surprised he didn’t get kicked in his junk. WS like that doesn’t get another chance.
2 Hearts
@johnyun20, ya, not taking responsibility and blaming is a bad sign for sure.
Nope, that isn't the reason he did it. I don't care how many times he tells you this, the reason he did it has to do with himself, not you. If he wanted to hurt you, then he would have told you he was doing it it, but instead he was hiding it. He didn't plan on getting caught and when he got caught he shifted the blame to make you feel like he had control. He isn't really sorry that he did it. He's sorry he got caught. Messaging is the first step. It leads to meeting up eventually. Personally, I'd get the hell out of there.
2 Hearts
@Leahzan, I agree, for the fact he blames her, shows he just wishes he didn’t get caught and have to deal with the ramifications of his poor choices. Maybe he needs a huge wakeup call, like losing his partner, to show him what happens when a person strings someone along.
That he says he wanted to hurt you is telling. That the other woman got upset about not being the only other woman is also telling When men get caught they get mean, at least that was my husband in the first few weeks after the confrontation. Put yourself first, non of this is your fault. He could of left if we was so unhappy
I agree @MDMermaid. If a person is unhappy in their marriage, they can get a separation or divorce, or go to marriage counseling or whatever. There a like a million resources for marriages these days. So there’s really no excuse to cheat and string the other person along.
It sounds like you both need to seek counseling together and apart. Many couples have been where you are at and much worse and have recovered and you can too, but with outside help.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
1 Heart
@SoCal2LI
I went to counseling about 2 years back when he pulled this same thing and he never wanted to go in to counseling with me he thinks I am the whole problem and I’m the one who needs counseling. I told him that instead of turning to another woman he should have suggested counseling if he thought I wasn’t hearing him… but he said he wanted to hurt me like I hurt him… but the sad thing is He did not tell me the woman did… and apparently he had been talking to her for quite awhile and then there was some time they didn’t talk but when he reached out to her again she seen we were still together and not divorced so it upset her cuz he was talking about divorcing me and she wanted him to move in with her. But he had no intention on telling me or getting caught and I have no clue how long this had been going on between them and he wont say. He just stated that he had talked to her a while back and then again a few days back and he told me that she didn’t give me the full story but the problem is he won’t give me the full story and he should never have been talking to her in the first place. He tried telling me that he was telling her how upset he was that he couldn’t get through to me and he was pouring his heart out to her frustrated that I wouldn’t hear him and she didn’t tell me that part… I wanted to laugh in his face right then or slap it… he said there was a reason she didn’t send me all their conversations… well yeah I bet… obviously they talked a lot… and he exploded on me when I got so upset over this in depth conversation over time and then the screen shot shows where he messaged her at 6am which meant he was still in bed beside me and I don’t have a right to be pissed… Then he says this isn’t about you it’s about how you treat me… And States you always have to make it about you… well ummm you hurt me buy going to another woman and you don’t expect me to give a reaction… seriously he deserved to get his ass kicked.
Im working on divorce.
Thank you so much