I just found out today and this is not a situation that' I k

I just found out today and this is not a situation that' I know how to deal I am not ok I am stressing and going crazy any advice !?

Hey there! The feelings you are going through are the same ones we all went through. Are you going through an outbreak right now? If so, I'd say focus on that for right now. Getting through your first outbreak is the toughest part. In all honesty herpes isn't the end of the world. Your life will continue on just as before, except now before you have sex you need to tell your partners about it. A lot of people have herpes these days, so it's nothing to be ashamed of. Also as time goes on, outbreaks for most become less frequent! Just take the diagnosis one day at a time. All we have is a slightly inconvenient skin condition. You Will get through this!

I don't have one yet idk if Cus im starting to stress out I feel one coming im just not sure how to be ok with this

@Loopy123 you definitely want to keep the stress to a minimum. I know that is easier said than done! But, herpes feeds off of stress. The more you stress and weaken your immune system the worse things will be. Being okay with any diagnosis takes timeee. You probably won’t be okay with this overnight, sadly. Is there a certain part about the diagnosis that is most unsettling? If there is than I can give you hopefully some reassurance about it :slight_smile: lots of deep breaths!

I feel ashamed embarrassed disgusted like it my fault I did something that is going to affect me for the rest of my life what bout kids?

@Loopy123 that’s just the stigma. You didn’t do anything wrong. People can get herpes even when they have sex with condoms. What type do you have? Because 80% of the population has oral herpes. 1 out of 6 has genital herpes. It’s super common. Now that you know you have it, you can do things to improve your quality of life. You can still have children! It doesn’t change anything regarding that. The only thing that affects having children is if you are having an outbreak during delivery, they may advise a c section. That’s it. And to be honest don’t worry about that right now unless having children is something you want in the very near future. It isn’t worth the stress right now

I feel like who going to want someone knowing this I feel like I failed my self

I don't want to do anything just lay in bed and cry my life away my bday is coming and I cancelled the plans

Im worried bout the kids I do have already

@Loopy123 You can’t let this dumb virus win like that. You deserve to still celebrate your birthday. When I am upset about this virus, I remind myself of a time in the past where I thought my life was over and ruined…and then I remind myself that there was light at the end of that tunnel and there most definitely is light at the end of this one too.

And its oral

I don't see the light im so hurt and ashamed

@Loopy123 I understand those feelings. And you aren’t wrong to be upset, but I promise this gets better. All you have is a cold sore virus. Everyone who gets cold sores has exactly what we all have. Some have it on their face, some their genitals, but all this is is a virus. People go entire lifetimes without knowing they have herpes. You can’t let something like a virus control you. It’ll get easier :slight_smile:

Thank u for ur kind words I know it gets better but in this moment it hard to accept and deal with and idk if talking makes it better Cus im so scared of. A break out

I do t know to accept this I feel like even sitting next to comeone I'm putting them at risk and I know it's more deep then thag but I feel dirty and like I'm putting my kids at such a high risk how do u guys get though this

You are over stressing. You have cold sore virus. 80% of people have it. is quite possibly you had very long time and I can't even remember having any cold sores a lot of people have it and don't even remember because they had it as a child. If you learn and understand the virus you will understand how you transmit it and if you don't have any symptoms the likelihood of that is less and you are certainly nothing to pass it to someone sitting with them. You need to go put this in perspective it is not the worst thing in the world. People who have genital herpes have stigma to deal with but still get on with their lives. Just keep up your normal routine and things will get better in time but do your research

1 Heart