I just joined this group in search for some answers & for a

I just joined this group in search for some answers & for a support system. I am leaving a narcissistic relationship (4½ years) as I write this. My fiancé and father to my 2½ year old daughter travels for work. We are in my home state & I've been able to set up a place at my parents for she and I while I get on my feet. I have to drive the 12 hours home with him in 2 days to pack all of my things & somehow get it all back here. He has offered to help me & frankly, I've been a stay-at-home mom for her 2.5 years of life so financially, I don't have much of a choice. I have tried to leave him before but this is the fatherest I've ever been able to make it. He hasn't ever hit me but his reactions when I've tried to leave before are like the stages of greif. He is in the disbelief faze still telling me he loves me & touching me. I am afraid that while we are packing to move out he is going to go through the angry stage or the suisidal stage (he's threatened to kill himself when I wanted to leave before). I have to keep my daughter safe & I need to keep my resolve intact. What should I do? We live in the middle of nowhere & I don't have a support system out there. Any input advice would be great!

2 Hearts

I would not want to be alone with him under the circumstances and your gut feelings (which are usually correct), I would ask a friend of family member to go with you. Rent a u-haul truck and drive back. Borrow money from your family but don't be alone in a car with him 12 hours away. Leave your daughter at home with family.

1 Heart

Please please please go to court and get custody or shared custody of your daughter my ex was like that then he started hitting me then he refused to give our children bback my children now live with him I don't want any1 else to go through what I have

I agree with collateral on this. Bring someone with you. You might not see it now but if you stay it is only going to get much worse and more difficult to leave. Take it one day at a time - you will be ok.

It is going to take over a week to pack up the whole house. I have horses, a dog, almost everything is mine. But, i need his help because i have to get back asap to find a job. Both of my parents work & I have no one to leave my daughter with for that long or to leave their job for at least a week. The house belongs to my grandmother & she is our neighbor but she is 80 so I can't leave my daughter with her for more than an hour. Is it crazy of me to think his manipulative ways have gotten to her health as well? She was so alive when we moved in next door & now she just seems to be going down hill. He has never watched our daughter for more than 2 hours and probably changed a total of 5 diapers. He can't 'handle' taking care of her. He keeps saying he's just going to disappear because it will kill him to have to see her & me when we aren't a family anymore. I was sad about it the first time he said that but now I just feel dead inside. Does that feeling ever go away?

1 Heart

Please take someone with you has disaster written all over it mine took my phone locked me in house when kid there when I said I was leaving

yeah you definitely want someone there with you as a buffer and to make sure nothing happens.
take pictures and document EVERYTHING....just in case