I just put this up elsewhere and thought it belongs here as well.
“Grieving is hard, tiring work.” This is something I read in a paper from I believe AARP on starting a grief support group. It struck me as so profound that I still reflect on it quite often. It IS hard work. And it IS tiring. Our emotions are constantly being drained and overworked. Psychologically, we are asked to come up with barrages of answers for our thoughts and feelings. Physically we are fatigued by performing life’s functions when we don’t really feel up to it. The entire healing process from grief is demanding on every thread of our existence and it can be relentless.
What I make of this is a philosophy that I can live with… one that won’t add guilt to an already difficult time. My philosophy includes rest from grieving and breaks to allow a rejuvenation of strength. I believe it is not only OK to get away from the grief at times but it is paramount to our wellbeing. In my personal plan that I have formed for myself, I allow myself to go out with a friend, to watch a lighthearted movie, to take a day trip for the pure reason of decompressing. To do this I had to make myself realize that my beloved is still beloved. I am not abandoning them. I am not forgetting them. I am not diminishing their importance to me. I am just taking some small time segments to support me.