I kind of feel like I don't believe love is out there for me anymore, maybe not even friendship. I don't even have one friend. Upon reflection, Ive realized I just dont have anything in common with anyone. All men seem to want to stare at half naked women in my experience. And I just feel people are shallow that I have experienced. I also feel like Im just never enough. My first relationship was 6 years with someone who has NPD, he didnt even notice me I was invisible. Second relationship I thought this person cared but I was wrong, he ghosted me again and again. And i never took a hint for 3 years. So Ive realized that I just dont feel like I can even bother to take a chance now. It really isnt worth it. Even if someone wonderful came by, I dont think I could trust them now. It would be a surprise if things went right, and then after that I would just wait for things to fall off a cliff. And that anticipation, would kill me. Just waiting for abandonment.
There's no need for this. Nobody deserve this kind of punishment. You've done nothing wrong. I keep telling myself how s****y of a person am I for all the things I've done and said. I wish I was dead. I promise someone who will take care of you. Wait until someone comes to you, trust me.
I’m sorry your feeling this way. I feel the same unfortunately after countless times in my life of betrayal and harm from friends, family, relationships. It’s very difficult for me to let my guard down toward people. It helps to remember that people are just flawed, not perfect n most of time trying their best. Don’t give up having meaningful lasting relationships… you deserve this in life!
Thank you for your words of encouragement. Honestly the people on this support group remind me that there are people out there who care. So thank you for being that light in the world.
As for me, Im trying. Im currently trying to figure out if I should move away from where I am. Human traffickers live up the street and Ive called the police but the police said theyre just very nice nornal people. They are not. Anyways so I realized that I am basically not going ti be believed and I have to watch ut happen and know it's happening. I cant help wonfering if I attract this stuff inti my life. The mire i run from it the more it's obviously there.
For some reason my last comment didn't get posted so I'm typing it again. I believe our social circles will broaden the further we get into healing. For now, it is truly sad you feel this way. I know I do too. You're definitely not alone in that.
I understand how you must feel. These days men in my area just seem to want a physical release and no substantial relationship. I guess they like the emotional detachment. I would like to find a quality relationship. After covid settles, I want to get out to real social events.
And yes, most people on SG care!
@Lookn4raysofSunshine Honestly, it probably isn’t just men. There are always people who want the same things as us, and we have to be willing to reject people (to free them and ourselves) to find the person who wants what we want. Believing in the abundance of the universe, with patience, and the right person will see you and love you. The wrong people will ignore you, chase you, then get bored, rush in to hook you, be people pleasers afraid to create conflict abd so will lie… we dont need that. 
Be transparent and Im sure the right person will spot you and be happy to find YOU just as you are. As within, so without. Ive really liked being single, once I got used to it. I am so much happier without having to settle for my biundaries be crossed. No one is rejecting me, etc. I dont feel lonely despite being in a relationship----because Im SINGLEEEEEE!!! Happiness. Zero expectations. 100% happiness potential. Today I bought chicken conjee and sat on a hill and watched clouds go by. Best day ever. The earth loves you