I knew there was something wrong with the guy that I've beenI knew there was something wrong with the guy that I've

I knew there was something wrong with the guy that I've been seeing for almost two years. The constant bickering... I've never been so elated and so sad at the same time. I started watching some videos on narcissists and everything started to make sense. It made me feel less crazy. There is no question he is a narcissist. I've found myself debating whether I should get in contact with some of his past relationships to see if, they too, have felt the same way, and if they have, I think it would be beneficial for them to understand why they've felt the way they felt. My only dilemma is whether or not I should do, so advice?

Hi everythingwillbeok. Congratulations on figuring out what the problem is!! That's great - I'm so glad you're feeling less crazy now. Regarding your request for advice: My therapist used to ask, "What is your goal?" So, I pass it on to you.

To enlighten more people in his life, I guess. I know narcissists are supposed to be stagnant. They don't change, they only love themselves. But... I still care for him immensely. If he's not willing to look into himself and realize this, I think the people around him should, and perhaps he can get some insight into himself. Also, I know his past relationship ended terribly, and for some reason I emphasize with his past relationships. Should I not get involved? Is that faulty thinking?

I wouldn't.....

Hmm, those are thought-provoking reasons to contact his ex-sweethearts. Before I can give you my opinion, I'd request some background. Like, do you still live with him? Are you still dating him? Are you still in contact?

I'm still in contact. I've been trying to break it off completely and somehow I keep falling back in. Last fight we had, I promised myself never again. I have hopes in my decision, and have not spoken to him in over a week, but I fear for my self-control. I'm in close contact with his family, as I've been largely incorporated with them. He's almost 30, and living with his parents. His mom has tried to help him get his life together, but she also enables him and provides everything for him. I know she's tried to help him, as have I, and maybe by making this condition known, it could alleviate some of the pain he's caused to the people around him, and he could get help.

@everythingwillbeok1 Hi. May I say some things that might be a little hard to hear? If so, keep reading: There are a lot of posts in the "Narcissist" section here. The writers, who used to be involved with, or are trying to escape from being involved with, Narcissists, all say the following: That a narcissists cannot change. That they don't have insight. That they aren't self-reflective. You've written "perhaps he can get some insight into himself," and "he could get help." According to all the psychological research, if he is actually a narcissist, then he will not get insight and he will not benefit from help. If you want to offer he ex's comfort and healing, that's nice. But if you want to give them insight so that he will change, then you're doing a disservice to yourself and to them. If it were me, I would read some of the posts. Also, I would read up on some excellent sites they mention and learn more about narcissism. I can imagine this is a very difficult situation for you to be in.