I know everyone here is suffering from the same thing. I'm not looking for sympathy, just support. I have had significant hearing loss for about 16 years now but only in the left ear. In December i got pneumonia and retained some fluid in my right ear. That's when I noticed how significant my hearing loss was. I visited a few ents who put me on round after round of steroids with no success of draining the fluid. We eventually put a tube in the right ear but not until I was under the knife for a full ear drum rebuild on the left side. Apparently I had a cholestiatoma that had destroyed everything in my left ear. Hole in the eardrum and 2 deteriorated bones. The growth was removed 2 titanium bones placed and a skin grafted eardrum all in a few hours. Easy right.....the pain from the actual procedure was minimal and the incision is healing beautifully but 3 days after the procedure the loudest noise ever began invading my headspace. So bad I drove myself into a panic and ended up in the emergency room and had to have an Ativan and torodol shot to get me to sleep. I slept for 15 hours. It's been a month since the procedure. I am due to have the second round of packing removed in 9 days. I have not slept a full nights sleep because everytime I go to relax the ringing takes over. I hear nothing from the ear they operated on besides that ringing. I'm dizzy and lightheaded. I'm anxious and cranky and confused. I cant make out where voices are coming from and some people are talking to me and I see their lips moving but hear nothing. I know crying doesn't resolve anything but it's all I can do. I'm 32 and all I think about is how this may happen in the other ear and my life may be filled with nothing but ringing. It's making me insane. I know nothing will make it stop. I know it may never go away. When I'm working the tinnitus is less noticeable but I have noticed how intolerant humans really are. I'm doing my best to make a living and work and support myself and be a functioning member of society but apparently it's an issue for people to repeat themselves or raise their voices slightly. They act as if I'm inconveniencing them in some way. That I'm incompetent or slow because I cant hear. NO. The I convenience is losing your senses. Something you were born with and slowly watching it slip away until there is nothing left. I'm breaking down and losing hope. I need relief. I need reassurance that I didn't just let some stranger inside my head and just trusted them to give me back something as precious as my hearing. Mankind is cruel. Mankind is human. Mankind makes mistakes and has ego but also science and medicine and miracles. I know I'm rambling but this has become a wonderful distraction for the 10 minutes it took me to type this on my phone. Please please tell me I'm not alone. I'm not crazy.
you are totally not alone. or crazy. all of us who have this I think go through this, whyever we have it. its hard to be plagued by a sound only you can hear.
Your feelings are understood completely and you are not alone nor crazy.
Yes you're not alone. I can't really say what it feels like. But it hurts to see my brother going through it. He has tinnitus since like 4 years now. He has changed so much after that. He always stresses over things so bad. He is always so restless. Wish i could stop it for him. But i can't do anything about it. He's actually managing it good. But even after a day or two he's back with steaming in the middle of the night and making himself a ginger tea. He also has eustachian tube blockage or sinusitis since 4 years. Which are responsible for his tinnitus. He also be sent to do many ENTs. But Steroids did nothing but made him weaker. He's just 20. Wish i could go back in time and stop him from having the ear infection which caused this.