I´m a incest survivor. I was raped and sexually abused by several guys including my father from the age of 3 untill 16 ( i only told a doctor a few months ago). When i was 13 i got pregnant by my father i told people it was a boy´s from school child. Everyone believed and everyone locked at me like i was crazy, but they didnt know what i was going trough. I was pregnant with a baby boy and at 6 months i got a miscarriage. It hurted so bad, I loved that baby so much, i didnt feel alone anymore, i feel like i had someone that was going to love me. But I had an abortion. A few months ago i went to the hospital because i had fever and stomach pain and they found out I was pregnant. They said that i had the possibility of having an abortion, they asked me who´s baby was that, that they see i was already pregnant years before, to tell them the truth. and for the first time I told someone. Everyone was saying to have an abortion that i couldnt have an incest baby. That i was ruining my life and a babys life. People say it was better i had an miscarriege when i was 13, that i was 2 young, that im stupid for felling any type of love for that baby, that im a horrible person for even wanted to have that baby, for felling bad of having a miscarriege, are they right? Was that a good thing and im just exagerating and am i a bad person for wanting to have that baby at 13? Do i have something wrong? I didnt got an abortion this time. Im 7 months pregnant ( when i went to the hospital i was 3 months pregnant) with another baby boy. Im i a bad person for bringing this baby to this planet, should i have aborted a few months ago, im a a bad person for having my fathers baby that is technically my brother? Im a a bad person for felling love for this baby? for waiting to stay with this baby, and raise him and love him? am i a bad person for talking to this baby, for thinking that its not his fault, and i will be able to give him some kind of love and a happy and good life? im i being selfish because everyone say im being selfish, that im a bad person, that im doing the wrongthing, that this is a mistake and an incest baby cant see the light of day because is a nature freak, that i need to gave him for adoption, that i am as much bad as my dad for having this baby and love him. They are saying that i liked it because im having his baby. I am 16, i was taken away from my mom and my dad is in jail, im in a foster home now and my foster "parents" are the ones who are no judging me. Im working and going to school for trying to raise some money for the baby and my foster parents say they will help me. But now i need your opinion am i being a bad, selfish, horrible person? am i not normal? am i stupid or weird for wanting this baby? Should i do what they say and give the baby for adoption even if i want to stay with him? Am i weird for talking to him, love him and wainting to have a baby in reasult from incest and rape? Am i weird for feeling bad and depressed for waiting to have that baby a few years ago? Am i a bad person? Does anyone in here as a child result from rape and incest? Should i keep the baby? Am i doing the right thing? Can someone please help!!!!!!!!! Sorry for my english but my first language isnt english.
Nothing is wrong with you and it is normal to love your baby. Nothing wrong. It is up to you if you want to do adoption. But just reading on your post it does not sound like you want to give up the baby. Best luck.
@Aceland Thnx I want to stay with the baby but the people around me are just the ones that are telling me to go for the adoption and im just confused and not shore. Thnx for replaying.
You've been through a lot, I can totally understand how your feeling , you need to stop beating yourself up. You have to realize everything that has happened to you is not your fault.. Message me, so we can talk? If you don't mind.
@Beautiful1 Yeah but its so hard to thing like that when there is always something in my head telling me it was my fault. Thnx for replaying. How can i message you? I just dont want to bother u.
You are not a bad person or wrong. You have been abused and never known different. You seem to be very loving and forgiving. Don't lose that. I think people are more worried for you. It will be very difficult for you down the road. The child will always be an innocent child and a human being. I just worry there will be a time that it still be hard for you to look past the way the child was conceived. You are going to go down a rough road. But you seem strong. You can do it. Don't listen to anyone else. Do what in your heart is right. Nothing is wrong with you.
@Rachel1733 @Rachel1733 So please be honest what do u thing i should do? Yeah i know they are worried about me. I dont blame the baby because i know i was born from rape myself my father raped my mom and she went back to him when she found out she was pregnant, and she loved me but she just didnt protected me from my dad and his friends. I just dont blame the baby because its not his fault the only people whos to blame is me, my dad and his friends. I´m just so confused and scared, i dont know whats the right thing to do, because both have good and bad things. I cant move foward from my pass because its to recent and its only been 4 months since it stoped and i still have nightmares, flashbacks, memories, i still hate myself and feel dirty and disgusting. I was always trying to kill myself, cutting and i had anorexia but once i found out i was pregnant this gave me a reason to stop doing those stuff, it gave me a reason to live and now i manage to stop those things. Im just weak and stupid i know, but i just dont know what to do. I go to a psychiatrist but she only gives me pills and i only go there once a month if im lucky and she kinda blames me so it doesn´t help, she only say the truth tough, that its my fault for letting it go for so long, for never telling no one but i was scared and once i tried to tell and no one believed me they said i was just seking for attention, i was 7 and they were my teatchers. I just dont know what to do im just scared and confused. thnx for replaying
Accept my request do I can message you.
Stop seeing that therapist immediately. It's not your fault you were raped. That's horrible she would say that. It's not the truth. Do what you think is right. That's wonderful you stopped hurting yourself. The baby might have opened your eyes and helped you feel a reason to stop that, but it was you who stopped. You who decided you wanted to be better. You already know what you are going to do. I can tell. You are going to keep the baby and love it like you should have been loved. No one can tell you different. If you change your mind there is nothing wrong with that -but it sounds like you've got your mind made up. You ate going to be a great mommy. You are going to have a hard road though. Find good supports. Get rid of your therapist. Medicating you and telling you is your fault is disgusting.
I have been thinking about you all day and your situation. I am trying to find the right words. You are such a beautiful person. I am a mother to a little girl. And I can tell you that it does not matter who the father is she is still mine and beautiful. But it is very hard to be a parent. I think if you where going to give the baby up for adoption it should be because you want a good life for the baby one much better than you can give. That's the only reason. None of the stuff about how or what happened should come in to play. The question there is can you provide for that baby? Do you have suport can you really take care of it? Only you can answer these questions. I am proud of you that you are thinking all this threw. In the end you have to do what is best for the baby.