I’m feeling very irritated right now. I have a father who

I’m feeling very irritated right now. I have a father who is an alcoholic. He also just went in to get a surgery a few weeks ago as well. So now that he’s home from the surgery and struggling to recuperate, he’s saying he wants to stop drinking.
My brother and his wife are rushing in to save the day and help him. And he’s talking all this stuff about it, making it seem like he really wants to stop drinking. But now I’m pissed because I have worked so hard for the last 5 years to be sober without anyone’s help. Because these people weren’t there for me. They did the opposite. They avoided me. Did absolutely nothing to support me. And now that my father is trying to get sober, they’re all running to his side and making a big deal about every little thing. And he’s apparently talking about wanting to get sober with my sister-in-law and asking if I know. I’m just irritated because my father‘s been a very selfish man his whole life. My mother has been taking care of him since the day they got married and many years before that. Now that my mother is gone, he expects someone else to take care of him.
And I know how hard it was for me to get sober.
I know the alcoholic mind. And I know he’s full of crap.
So I don’t wanna be emotionally manipulated, and I’m bitter and resentful that they’re all helping him when they wouldn’t help me. No one helped me.
I was literally alone. You couldn’t be more alone than I was. Not one person in the world came to help me. I came here to this site. That’s what I had.
And he had my sister-in-law pick him up, take him to her house so that they can take care of them 24/7. Take him to go get food, talk to him all day, God for bid he has to be alone for one second.
So it’s disturbing my peace and that affects my sobriety. Has anyone in this narcissist, dysfunctional, abusive family asked me how I’m doing?? One time?? NO!!!

1 Heart

That’s not right they don’t support you. I would be irritated also. They should’ve been there for you! That makes you stronger person, though. At least you know you don’t need them… not like your father who is weak and selfish. Hope feel much better about this soon!

1 Heart

@Foundlove thanks V. You are right. This made me sooo much stronger. I definitely don’t need these people.
((Hugs))

Good for you to set yourself free and get that bitterness out! Yes, get it out! Now take your power back... Those who left and didn't support showed you who they were. Those who walked, let them keep walking. Those who wouldn't and didn't support, you see how long you lived without it! So you definitely don't need it now! Your okay, you can make it alone, we know where our help and strength comes from, and now we have evidence it wasn't from who we thought would have. Go in peace, and don't look back!

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@DearPeace right. I am determined to stay empowered. And Sober.
Yep. They showed me who they were. They definitely don’t care how I feel. And I never did anything to these people. This is my older brother and his wife. She hated me from the beginning for no reason. My younger sister who a narcissist. Mostly because of how she was raised probably.
They don’t have a clue what I’ve been through in my life. It has made me stronger and I do have faith. My father doesn’t. And that’s why he’s been struggling so much. He can’t be alone for one minute because he doesn’t know how to turn to God for help in those moments. And that’s what it’s gonna come down to. You have to believe in something greater than yourself. He’s looking for things outside of himself and people. He needs to go within and find God.

I do feel like walking away from these people. That has been my motivation to get this van and get it together. Because I live close to these people and I don’t want to. I want to go far away and never see any of them ever again.
My sister-in-law is talking about getting him into an AA meeting. Ha Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah yeah …we will see how that goes.
He is going to crumble.
He cannot handle the truth.
He’s so full of BS… I have to get out of here. I’m fine but yeah… When he dies, they’re going to expect me to be around.
And I am not going to do it.
I don’t know owe him a d.a.m.n. thing. Had he had his way, he would’ve killed me when I was 15 years old. Or before.
I just have a lot of gratitude for y’all here because it means the world to have a place to vent, get some support and validation. To be heard.
I know my sister knows how I feel because I said a lot to her yesterday. But she doesn’t have the emotional ability to help me. And she’s over there right now helping him. Because my brother asked her to. And she’s a good little daughter and sister and does what she’s told.
Even though, my father never wanted her either and never gave her any love or affection her whole life. Made fun of her when she was growing up telling her that she was ugly and would never have a boyfriend or husband.
But now she’s expected to help him in his time of need.
I’m the only one that knows how she really feels about him. She hates him and wishes he was dead.
I will need more prayer and possibly AA myself to get through this.
I will stay empowered, I will stay away from them, and I will continue to be true to myself.

I’ve learned and accepted that in this life, no one really owes you anything and anything anyone ever gives you is a gift. Just take it and say thank you. And I do! :-)
It feels good to vent and then we can sit back and we can say OK… Because it all does become something we learn from. And grow from. I do see that I’ve become much more self-reliant and have more inner peace because of it. I also have God. In those moments when you’re alone and scared, you turn to God and that’s what saves you. That’s what has always saved me. And so I’m going to pray for my father. That’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to start praying for him every night. Because I know, that is what he needs.. I did that for a while. Pray for your enemies. And then I stopped. But it’s a blessing to do that actually. Because everyone wins. That will give me peace.

2 Hearts

Karma

1 Heart

@Inmylittleroom thank you so much for your support.
My dad apparently wasn’t eating after his surgery and lost 20 pounds. But the minute he got to their house he wants to eat everything he can get his hands on.
Because he feels good now that he knows someone’s gonna take care of him. That’s all he wanted. OK. Great… If Kelly wants to do that then she can go right ahead.
But you are so right. I appreciate you so much.

Just talked with my sister. She’s going to get my father‘s dog tomorrow. So the dog will be at her house. She told me a little of the conversation they had with him today but had to get off the phone.
He is now going back on some things. And downplaying other things .. so yeah… Not gonna last long.
Saying that he just thought he would stop drinking because he had already gone a few days not drinking since the surgery.
I know exactly what he’s thinking. He wants to get better from the surgery so he’s thinking about not drinking for now. Alcoholics do that all the time.
Anyway, thanks y’all!

1 Heart

I have a new way of looking at this which gives me a chuckle… with my dad, this is just babysitting. You know we have babysitters for kids. We have babysitters for old people. So they’re just babysitting right now. And then eventually he’ll be in a nursing home or rehab of some kind so someone else can babysit him.. it’s actually a relief. Because before all this, he had this woman at his house that drugged him and robbed him. And that really upset me. Because she’s taking what doesn’t belong to her.. and my dad slipped in the bathtub and busted his head open. I know that was karma saying hello .. lol.. but that’s enough. Because it ends up affecting me and my other siblings. And that’s not what my mom would want. And at this point, not me either. Because this woman came into my life and messed with me.
Do we can just babysit him for awhile.
So I wanted her out.

1 Heart

@LollyNews. I hope that woman is gone