I’m hoping someone can give me some insight on my teenage

I’m hoping someone can give me some insight on my teenage daughter. For a while we have thought she was just acting out like teenagers do, but it’s becoming more obvious that there is something else going on and it seems like she has several narcissistic tendencies that are really putting a strain on our family. It started out with her making every event about herself. Father’s Day, siblings birthdays, birth of a new sibling, death of a family member- everything she flipped to be about her. It has gotten to the point where no one in the family wants to have celebrations anymore because they cannot enjoy them as they always turn into an ordeal that is all about my teen daughter. She thinks so highly of herself and brags about accomplishments she’s never achieved and she does so with such belief that it seems that she actually thinks she’s achieved all these things that she never has done. She is very manipulative of others especially her younger siblings and her behavior is really taking a toll the the family as a whole. I am just not sure what I can do to make the situation better. Whenever we try to address her behavior and how it affects others she turns it around to everyone is against her. At this point it feels like we are all just waiting for her to turn 18 and move our, but I hate having my family like this.

I'm sorry to hear about your situation and environment. It certainly sucks when one person in the family decides to make everything about them, and ruin the lives and relationships of everyone in the family. I understand what it's like, as my older brother did that.

I don't know how old your daughter is, but it sounds like you need to get her into therapy ASAP! However, it'll only work, if she's willing to address her issues. It's worth a try though.

Out of curiosity, when did her behavior start changing? How old was she? How old is she now? How long has she been manipulating her siblings? How is she manipulative? Is there any way to have a celebration, and you warn her ahead of time that if she makes it all about her, she'll be excused? Would you be willing to follow through with it? When she turns everything around on you, does she end up winning the argument?

You have a tough case on your hands. It sounds like she's been getting away with this behavior for some time, which will make it a bit more difficult to eliminate. Above all, you HAVE to be a team with your husband, and you HAVE to stick to your consequences. If you don't, NOTHING will change. Please don't hesitate to reach out if you need/want to talk.

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@Justwanttobeloved Our daughter is 16 now and we’ve tried therapy so many times. According to her there is always something “wrong” with the therapist so we have to keep switching. We did find one she liked but I think the only reason she like that therapist was because the therapist believed her lies and was easily manipulated. We had a family session where the therapist brought up all these issue of how we make our daughter care for her siblings and clean the whole house which causes her to neglect her homework which is why she was doing bad in some of her classes…basically everything was our fault. This caught me so off guard because she literally had no chores or responsibilities at home because everytime we asked her to do anything it turned into a huge argument and it was just not worth it. But she made herself out to seem like the perfect child and that the parents were taking advantage of her.
We adopted our daughter and she came to live with us when she was 10 and at first we thought her behavior was her adjusting, then we thought it was puberty and just regular teenage rebellion, but as she gets older we are seeing it’s something more.
It seems like we’ve tried every parenting technique there is and none of them work. At this point we are just waiting until she turns 18 so we can create some physical space between her and the family.