I mentioned recently that I'd had a brush with a Narcissist at work, the effects of which were triggering me quite badly. Since then, I can see he's been dripfeeding vague suggestions to someone in authority, to ingratiate himself and create a negative impression about me. This is hard to deal with, because it's like fighting with shadows, with nothing definite to pin down as evidence.
So I've been digging deep to hold onto the truth of the situation and maintain my integrity. This helped me explain the situation correctly to the person the N was talking to (although I couldn't go so far as to say that we're dealing with a Narcissist), instead of my usual response, where I've had difficulty articulating any response at all.
I also remembered something that people say in the SG Narcissist Group - that Ns aren't infallible and that they do make mistakes.
Sure enough, I think the N slipped up a little, when the third party went back to them, after speaking with me, because they were still trying to distort the truth, whereas I was trying to be authentic. This included acknowledging responsibility for my part in the situation, without taking all lthe 'blame'.
I know I will need to be even more on my guard now, as they will feel "thwarted" (from their perspective) but it feels good to have avoided sinking to their level and exposing them slightly, simply by trying to speak the truth.
Narcs at work are the worst! Almost any thing you do makes YOU look crazy. Document and communicate through text or email as much as you can. I'm interested in reading advice here. Can't say I've had much luck fighting them in the work place. Maybe with more detail I could toss out some ideas? Man they soar in the work place moving everyone around like chess pieces. Argh!!"
I know! Ugh! Well.. Even if you discuss something I person you can follow up with an email? That's the biggest problem I've had with them at work. We agree to x and it changes. Especially if it make you look bad. Like they say they'll handle something that's your deal and then they don't and they don't admit they agreed to do it. That kind of thing. And like you say at work.. If you go to HR tomorrow and Say that JOE is a narc and you're going no contact they'll think your nuts. Work is tricky!