I met my husband about 15 years ago at a N/A meeting. We celebrated being sober together for quite sometime. Then I fell down and fell hard. I lost my family, kids and all. I fought so hard for them and got them back. I stayed sober, but then my husband started drinking. He said that it's just beer, it isn't like that makes him an alcoholic or anything. It got to the point where the first thing he did after work was crack a cold one. It became an everyday affair. My kids hated it. They knew what had happened with me and they were scared it was going to happen again. He started lying about drinking, even though I could smell it on him. He'd laugh at me if I suggested going back to program. Then, he started using his pain meds for the wrong reasons, as in not for pain. He runs out of those meds two weeks before its time for a refill. He tried blaming the kids, saying that they must be stealing from him. Absolute denial. Now, he's also smoking pot. He used to lie about it, but he got caught too many times. I finally left him. I couldn't help him...he doesn't want my help. Unfortunately, my 21 year old still lives with him and now they smoke out together! Nice, right? I can't stop them. I really don't know how to handle the situation or if I have any rights to handle it period. I just don't know what to do!
Knowing what you know, and having the added experience of going through the program, you know that the willpower and desire to change and heal has to come from within. When you fell hard, you wanted to get help, you wanted to get your life back. It seems that right now your husband is lacking that "want". Sometimes we have to stand by and allow our loved ones to find their rock bottom, because that is where the willpower to change is often lurking. Stay strong through it all, remember to take care of yourself also. We are here for you.