Well I just joined because if I loose one more cent gambling I will loose everything that means the world to me, my husband, my house, everything. I lost my job, (laidoff) and all I want to do is gamble. I have gambled for about 20 years but the depression of loosing my job has caused me to gamble SOOO much in the last couple of months that I have lost over $5000.00. And I have no job to help make it back. I am FINISHED. I need all your support. I will post something everytime I get an urge to sneak out and gamble. Day one!
Hey Chrispy, Welcome
I am a gambler trying one day at a time not to. Stay strong, and keep typing when the urge comes.
I have been getting the urge alot lately,and I am not working either and I have a family. There is support at this site, and being there to listen to each other can help. You have my support and I'll look out for you next post.
I pray, we get through this day.
Hey Chrispy,
I am here with you too. I have not been to a casino 26 days. 26 days ago, I was right where you were. Today, I feel so much stronger. Each day away from the casino will bring you strength and peace. Rely on all of us. We all understand. Join us. Pray with us. Bring hope to our group. Know that we all have our stories. Ask questions. Share your feelings.
I am saying a prayer for all of us now.
Chris
I went for a month without gambling and then slipped up. lost $150. felt like crap. went strong for over a week and then went again today. lost $200. feel like crap. amazing how much money i can accumulate without gambling....then in just a short 1hr.period, i can lose it all. i need to get strong again and stay focused on building my money and not gambling it. please pray for me.
This is day one for me; actually 3 hours for me. Went to casino today after thinking I wouldnt, yeah right. I can afford the money I lost, but can no longer "afford" losing anymore of myself. Feel like I am getting more and more lost. I want it to be different. I am hoping that having this community to come to and be able to read other's thoughts and post my own will be a start in right direction.
It is good to have you here, sudeka and theygotme. This is a place of great support, inspiration and relief. I have never felt this strong because I know that I have a network of people who are working to change their lives like I am. My feelings before going into a casino are so different than the ones coming out, and I never really understood the reasons for going in when I knew what I would feel like afterwards. That little bit of a high I felt as I walked in or when I was winning never came close to equaling out how I felt afterwards.
I really can understand that sense of losing myself. I put friendships aside to gamble. I chose the casino over gatherings with friends or trips to fun places. At day 31, I am starting to feel like the person I want to be. I hope for both of you, today feels better than yesterday.
There is great power is being a part of this community. Thank you for joining us.
Chris
All I can say is you can be better than this addiction. It will be a tough road ahead but if you chose the right path you will feel such a sense of accomplishment and self worth. I pray every day for all of us to stay on the right path. Just continue to go to this site and we are here for you when you need us!
The people on this site are amazing. I have made some special connections here that I hope to continue friendships with for the rest of my life. May God bless all of us to stay strong!
Lori
Today I will be attending my first GA meeting.
I just wanted to let everyone know that you can go to Gaming Commissioner at any Casino and request that you be band from the Casino. I have done this with two Casino's. It's been two years.
Unfortunately I have found one in another state that I can go to when I need my fix.
I am now going to try GA.
I wish all of you the best as I relate to you all. I have lost so much that I can never get back (family, relationships, etc.) The way people look at me will never be the same. I don't know if I will ever be able to re-establish the trust that people had in me.
Bless you all.
God bless you as well, raisin324. It has helped me to focus on the healing rather than what is in the past. There is a wonderful Bible verse that goes something like, "there is nothing else except for faith expressing itself through love." This has helped me in the most trying times. I need to have faith that I will beat this and those who truly love me will give me another chance.
Chris
Raisin324, It is very difficult to look at the faces of loved ones and see the disappointment in their eyes. That hurts the most. With the support of GA meetings and us we can beat this addiction! Please know that God will not judge you and he will always have his arms open to you. I am here for you and may God Bless you too!
Hello. I'm a 42 year old single dad and a compulsive gambler. I've been struggling for ten plus years now and can't seem to shake it. I've sought all sorts of help and have gone without gambling for a year or so at a time but I always return to it. I get paid via direct deposit and at about 3:30 I took out $1500.00, went to the casino and by 6PM I had lost it all. So I went to the bank and took out the remaining $240.00 in my account and lost all of it by 9PM. I kkep saying that I am going to stop but i can't. I've excluded myself from Casinos in three states but no help since there is no loss limit. After I lost the rest of my money today, I spoke with a gaming officer and informed him that I am excluded and wanted him to be aware that I have been gambling, but he didn't seem to concerned, stating that utlimatey it's my responsibility to stop. i don't know what to do now, since i gambled away all of my rent, utilities, and payment for other bills. I beleive i suffer from extreme loneliness after my divorce but I cannot seem to take the necessary steps to build relationships with people. Any adice would be greatly appreciated.
As i read these posts it makes me so sad. I am with you all and suffer the same. I see a common thread here and that is lonliness. I have been able to go one week now without gambling and consider this good for me. I want to seriously kick this addiction. I have faith that I can. My drive to get better is stronger then my drive to go there. I have to completely change my focus and not get that depressive lonley feeling. It is the worst feeling when I come out of the casino with having lost $1000. I NEVER want to feel that way again. I decided I am going to completely work on myself now. I am 40 and single with one child. I am blessed to have her and my health. I am grateful to have a house that I am managing to pay the mortgage on and the utilities still. I just need to think positive and put the nasty past behind me. So far for today I can do it. :)
Peace to you all. We are in this together.
Sara
I have resentment against those who want me to stop gambling. I know this is wrong. I say to myself, "She can't tell me what to do!" I want to listen, because I know if it happens again she will leave me. But the idea of the casino is so enticing.
Being a complusive addicted gambler is tough work, we lie, cheat, steel, manupulate the ones we love, lose sleep, drain all of our life savings. And then say over and over again, I will never go down there agian, I am quiting for sure. Never again.
Then one day it dawns on us we need help, turn to a friend, a loved one, or crawl on our hands and knees to the door step of the local GA meeting.
Being a Recovering Complusive addicted Gambler is tough work, but unlike gambling it brings, joy, happyness, security, and a quality of life you have never known before. When gambling our lives continue to get worse and the misery get deeper, to a point of no return. We in recoverery find that we can live normal healty lives, and enjoy all the things this world has to offer. I have been blessed to walk through the doors of GA, and embraced the program with a open mind, and as a result, my life has imporved on all levels.
Ga has help me stay the course, and 8 months with out a bet. In my wildest dreams, I never through I could live a good life. But now I can 1 Day at a time.
Remeber Gamling is tough work, give your self a break, recover and enjoy the good things in life you have been missing because of your addiction.
All of these comments sound so familiar to me. I am guessing that the majority of us have these feelings, and thoughts both before we gamble, and after our money is gone! I think everyone with a compulsive gambling problem needs the support of other recovering gamblers. The battle is easier won as a team, than individualy. It is not what one accomplishes in life that really matters, but what one overcomes! I am hoping to make some long lasting friendships through this support group.
I was clean 3 weeks and then went to the casino 7/18. Lost $2000. Tried to win it back on 7/21 and lost another 1500. WTF is wrong with me? I go to GA meeting ocassionally but find it too impersonal. I do go to weekly counseling with a gambling addiction expert. Missed last week and won't he be disappointed when I see him on Wednesday.
Feelings I had before going to casino: agitated, nervous
overwhelmed with family responsibilities
boredom at job
lonliness
anger
and thoughts that I could actually win
I am so pathetic.
Jerseygal, hang in there. Never be ashamed to tell your therapist what happened. They are there for YOU! Also you employ them, take control of your actions, we don't go to therapy to impress anyone, it is for ourselves. The feelings you described that brought you to the casino are feelings I had also. Believe me, the longer you stay away, the feelings begin to diminish. Although at times even after being away for so long, they can creep back, keep strong, we are addicts and must accept that we are human.
I'm a recovering alcoholic with about 16 years of sobriety. I have always said that gambling wasn't a problem to me. Bull s---! One day about 3 years ago I put a 5 in a machine and won about 80.00. I've been wasting my money away ever few days. I have the same preoccupation and urges I had when I was drinking. Why am I addicted to every dam thing I do? Even when I win I'm Not happy, because I know I'm just feeding the beast.
Rasinin324
Hang in there. Ga helps you understand how to build those relationships back through time and your own personal recovery through working the steps. It takes time to rebuild relationships we have destroyed. Over time through your higher power, and the support of your GA group the relationship will improve and your quality of life will be very rewarding. Good luck on your recovery. GA has made my life enjoyable again, I know with out the support of people who understand me and have been in the same sitituations as myself, I could not do it along. Enbrace the program and work the steps and go to meetings and your life is going to improve, continue to gamble and it will only get worse. One thing I have learned in GA is that my addiction make me think I am smarter then everyone else. and when I worked the steps I found out I can not recover alone. Take care I will say a prayer for you.