I Need Help to conquer my shyness

Wow, were to even begin here:

I seriously need to overcome the shyness I have cuze it won't get me anywhere, I'm from Puerto Rico, so I speak both spanish and english and I'm good with english, apparently I was a nerd in english class cuze that was the only subject in school were I had strait A's but every time people want to hear me speak english I get all nervous and start gagging and laughing, just like in school went I had to do an oral report I'd barely do it or I didn't do it at all, I can't even make new friends because I'm scared to talk to new people, I don't know why but apparently I can make more friends on facebook that in school I'm not good at communicating every time I had to get up in class and do a report they'd all looked at me with the same stare like they were saying " Look at that Loser, she shouldn't even bother to get up" I even get scared to go to the mall I just see every one look at me with the same stare I don't know if its my fear or people just don't like me here, and I'm really not that bad of a person I love to make my friends happy (the only friends I have since high school) we always go out to the movies and we like to go to this lake called "Tortuguero" I'm a person who loves adventures and traveling the kind who would just drive of to anywhere for no reason at all, but with just getting close to talk to someone new I Freeze and forget everything.

anyone here has ever been thru this or just came close... I need advice to the many problems I have??

Hi Cmr715, thank you so much for being here with us. You write English so beautifully; therefore, I can imagine that your speaking skills are just as fantastic. Sometimes we are much harder on ourselves than necessary. I am sure that no one ever thought negatively of you when you got up and spoke, as I am sure that you did a wonderful job. I think that it's about building self esteem and working towards meeting people slowly but surely. One of my friends is incredibly shy and gets social anxiety, so I've spent a lot of time helping her ease into social situations where she can feel comfortable socializing and meeting new people. I started with having 1 other friend meet me and she would spend time getting to know her. Then, we worked up to group outings and then larger events.

I think that if you can take baby steps and no overwhelm yourself, then it will be much easier for you to meet new people. Can you ask one person to meet you for a walk or at a cafe so that you can get to know one person at a time and then slowly work up to smaller groups and then larger groups. Do you think this is something that's do-able for you?

Know that you are not alone, we are here to help you through this.

Hey bud very common. I am in a speech class, and when I get to the front of that class I can hear my own voice cracking when I speak. What is shyness? Believe it or not, shyness is not a state of mind. It is a label. It is a "thought". Oddly enough people rarely think bad things because it hurts us but I can see you often enter situations thinking bad things. Now my friend, I want you to go into situations FEELING. Cut out the chatter. You'll be surprised how easy a conversation is. People aren't out there to cut you up when you speak. Freedom of speech my friend. Now, start understanding yourself. I have an assignment for you. Don't think about it too much. I want you to go out, and find what makes you feel happy. What makes you FEEL excited. Don't THINK it makes you happy, and don't THINK about what is going to make other people happy. The world is a slave to their brain not their heart. I want you to go out and literally FEEL happiness in the way you'd describe it. Not in the way other people would describe it. When you do this, you'll see your in a much better mood to carry a conversation AT a place you love to be. When this happens you meet people with your interest, and people who feel the way you do. Stop thinking about being nervous and shy, just feel. And most of all, go to places you feel happy. That way all there is is happiness, and when you speak to someone you can feel good about it rather than THINKING and FEELING horrible. It's going to be just fine, give the world a shot.

hi cmr
it's brave that you shared this with us
writing in this community is like speaking up to strangers, but less frightening
so this was already a good exercise?
please continue to share
Can you share with your friends too? I hope so, you've made them feel good before, so they can do s.t. in return.

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