I need help with getting my thinking right. I feel like a ba

I need help with getting my thinking right. I feel like a bad person and I feel was a bad mom, a big loser because I don’t have enough accomplished and I’m 55 the people at my job are mean and phony and I wondered if it just me. I have been trying to get back in therapy and no one ever calls me and I can’t get a appointment. What is wrong with our country

Hi Pauline.
Not having enough accomplished is a matter of perspective. Being a mom is alot. Some people at your work stink (as we have discussed before).The pandemic is probably why you are having difficulty getting a appt. More people need help, and less offices seeing people in person.

@Inmylittleroom I know you’re right but I look at my boss and she’s younger than me and she’s so established financially and her children adore her and I just feel like all the things I did wrong

"Feelings aren't facts." What has helped me enormously is dispassionately and critically examining my internal dialogue. "I feel like a bad person"...is that objectively true? Are there examples of altruistic and compassionate behavior which refute that statement? If the statement "I feel like a bad person", or "I feel was a bad mom", or I feel like "a big loser" are inherently untrue, then I am not compelled to believe in, react to, or act upon them. With practice, such abusive internal messaging becomes less compelling, and less frequent.
Upon closer introspection, I've found that such self-hating thoughts and feelings aren't even mine; they're like endless-loop audio recordings playing over and over again in my mind, which were originally recorded and inserted in my head by overly critical people who didn't adequately love me; often as not in childhood. When I realize that these messages are not even mine, but theirs, I feel even more free to ignore them as they arise, and instead attend to more gentle, nurturing, and self-affirming messages of my own.
As I said, it takes practice, but you can free yourself from such hostile, self-defeating thoughts and feelings. You don't have to let them rule your life any longer.

@Piobaire wow I never looked at it that way feelings aren’t facts.