I need help

I've been binging/purging for the past 3 years. I don't know where to begin on this post, and to be honest this is the first time I am going public about this problem. I feel like I can't even complain because I don't have a bad life at all. I have a wonderful family, a nice house, a great boyfriend, I go to a great University but I have this burden resting on my shoulders. It's getting too heavy to hold. I write this as my boyfriend is sleeping a couple feet away from me, he has no clue about this problem I have and I am terrified of what he might think. I don't want people to think I am crazy. I've never had Anorexia or a drug/alcohol problem. It's just this one thing I can't get over. In December I was able to go a week without purging but since then it's been basically everyday, most of the time multiple times per day. I am terrified of being a victim to this disease. I graduate from school in December, I need to get over this by then. It's just I don't have the motivation and my mother has tried to scare me into stopping but not even that has worked. I know my life may be at risk if I continue on this way and I just don't know how to stop. Please, I need help.

The greatest step to recovery someone with an ED can do is admit they need help, you have done the bravest part there is. Im also a bulimic whos been down the road of recovery and won, unfortunately i have felt i may slip again so thats why ive joined here and started counselling again. i am here if you need to ask anything or need someone to just listen.
xx

Thank you for your response love, even a little comment like that makes me feel so much better inside. I’m tired of feeling alone and allowing this to control my life. How were you able to overcome?

Hey, that took alot of help i got counselling and the love and support of my family. it took a long time and was really hard but worth it in the end.
We all think we are in control with this illness but thats the farthest thing we are.
you will need professional help but you have to be ready to accept it.
I remmember feeling soo alone but i wasnt or neither will you be.

xo

I am a college student in a healthy relationship and I'm on my way to law school in year. Today I posted my first post too and it sounded almost Identical to yours. I wish I knew more to say, but just know you and your life are not alone. And we're strong women who are able to acknowledge we need help, even if it is through an anonymous support group. It's a step, a necessary one, and we're taking it. We'll get through this.

And just because we are having these problems DOESNT make us weak. It doesn't belittle all of our hard work in academia or our positive relationships. I think we both need to start accepting that. Stay strong and know there are others out there that share your feelings and can help you.

hi melanie!!! welcome!!!

you need not have a bad childhood to have ED, although many abuse victims have ED--it can happen without...

im glad you took this first step... can you confide in anyone?? a freind?? someone???? can you get a therapist/ do you have one?

would you be willing to go to a supprot group???
have you told your boyfriend and would you be willing to???

please share more and you can experience life without ED!

love
maureen

Welcome welcome, i have had issues with bulimia and binge eating now for 24 years and it started to me in high school when i felt everything was going perfectly. i had a great boyfriend (who became my husband and father to our daughter, had a full scholarship etc) but I agree with christa there are so many things that ED grabs onto to for this disorder to stick.
the best advice i can offer is to take it slow, don't try and make yourself perfectly well or compare your journey or recovery to others
when you feel that need to purge the things i did for baby steps was
1) i noticed that i did this and realized it wasn't what i wanted to do
2) wrote down, called someone, wrote someone, when i did want to act on the behavior (i'm still at this stage some of the time)
3) don't do the behavior but write down what feelings im having before that event (keeping a journal or record of some sort at all times)
4) really this should be number one but i started reaching out for help - first for free anonymous support groups and then starting to see an ED specialist
be well and good luck im here for you!

I saw that this post was made a while ago but it kind of encompasses what I feel too. I don't know what my problem is either. It feels like being lost in an ocean. After 11 years with this problem, I am just now starting to see it as a problem. I hope that you have found some support because you deserve it!