I need some help so desperately bad. Please someone help me

I need some help so desperately bad. Please someone help me. My husband is an alcoholic and meth addict. He's been trying to get clean but has been slipping up recently. Taking off for days at end. And I'm so angry. I have verbally beaten him up and spewed the foulest **** on him. Now he is leaving. I've been his care taker for so long. I'm the only one who has been supporting us. When I see money going to drug dealers when I'm struggling to buy food, I get so damned pissed. I don't want him to leave his home. He's been so happy here. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to stop resenting his addiction and I definitely don't know how to stop his using from affecting me to the core. He is ready to skip state because he is on probation and did a dirty u.a. I've been looking for help about how I react to his using. But I'm afraid the probation thing has finally sent him overboard. He is hours from leaving. Please someone help.

I know how hard it is but let him go. You do NOT need him. The only man you NEED is Jesus Christ!!

He abused you to the point where you think you need him - you don't. He loves drugs more than you. That's obvious.

He was clean for a month. No drinking no drugs, but he was facing jail time and went off the deep end. And now he's struggling again. And I haven't made it any easier for him.

Him facing jail time is NOT your problem - it's HIS. He shouldn't have done the crime(s).

This is the first home we've had since he tried to get clean. He's been so happy here just puttering around, the neighbors love him. I never meant for my anger to take the one happy place away from him. I only ever wanted a safe place for him to go.