I need to better understand mini-strokes. My wife, age 55, h

I need to better understand mini-strokes. My wife, age 55, had one in early January. She was taken to the hospital and was given care by doctors including a neurologist. It really frightened my wife, and me, but she has decided to somehow blame me for it. Shortly thereafter, she left me and then wanted a divorce. We have been married for twenty years. We have had a good marriage and have two late teen daughters. I have always tried to be a great husband and father, so this has really shocked and saddened me. A friend told me that the mini strokes can harm your brain and change the way you think. She kept pushing me to sign the D papers, and I did. I'm totally confused, but in two week we'll be legally divorced. We've had a lot of bad things happen in our lives over the past two years including the sudden death of her son. I still care very much for my wife, but I can't even discuss anything with her. She gets agitated and hostile. Can a mini stroke have this kind of affect on someone?

I suppose it could, or maybe it just really rattled her and this is how she responded. I am so sorry that for you this is so hard to deal with, I am sorry for you pain and loss.

Thank you for your response. We have had a very tough two years with many setbacks including the sudden death of her son on Mothers Day and then her mother passing two weeks later. We've had many more challenges through those two years and it's been incredibly stressful for both of us. It was so bad for me that I was diagnosed with a bad heart and some kind of breathing disease , but after further testing including a catheter test my heart was diagnosed as fine, It was determined that it was all from the stress. I think that my wife hit a tipping point with the mini-stroke. I've tried so hard to support her throughout, but it wasn't enough. In retrospect, I needed someone to support me. D day is two weeks away with very little, if any hope, that she will change her mind. Thing is, I'm more concerned about her after the divorce. I have to trust God with all of this, but its been so hard. Over the past two years, our world has flipped upside down.

1 Heart

I never got a chance to read your back story til now. Sorry I overlooked it. Since I nearly died and have also suffered PTSD, I think I may have a bit of understanding about what your wife may be grappling with. When a person nearly dies, they start to assess whether this was the life they really wanted. For me, my life was God, may marriage and my children. But looking at my marriage I realized I was being taken for a ride and wanted a reset. I started to think, if I only had a few years to live, did I really want to live it with this emotionally abusive person? But in your wife's case, she may have thought about what she was missing and never achieved. Some people could think, "well then why would you throw your life, your precious family away like she did?" But you have to think of this as a mental crisis. This happens to a lot of people when they get older. People who were successful and have fine reputations often don't end well at all. They exercise poor judgment. Here are a few examples. Ernest Hemingway (that one could be a bit controversial though with all the conspiracies behind his death, but taking his death at face value with the narrative the authorities gave it) Thomas Kinkade is another example. Keith Emerson. Some people when they lose their fullest capabilities, become frail, don't have the strength they used to, they don't respond well at all.

1 Heart

@Scat Thank you for taking the time to read my story and for sharing your perspective. In hind site, I should have sought counseling for myself and continued to encourage my wife to do the same previous to the mini stroke. You’re right about her having a mental crisis. After the mini stroke, she did go to a therapist but for only or 2 sessions. I wished she had stayed longer. Also, I had and still have additional and severe burdens to bear that I have left out. I tried to be strong with all of it and support my wife to the best of my ability, but I needed help as well and she was unable to do that. We were working towards a set of goals that we both wanted up until her mini stroke. In my mind, we were almost there and everything would be much better soon. Then, our lives flipped upside down, so fast. It’s a heart breaking situation and I feel that I have lost myself as well as my wife. Nearly all of my reasons for getting out of bed each day have seemingly vanished. I now have a lot of self doubt and I fight to stay focused on the belief that there will be a new existence for me, but it’s tough. I continue to pray for guidance, but I have to wait for His timing. I am happy to say that my wife is now doing better. Again, thank you.