omg where would i start well first i'm a 35yr old women raising 4 kids and two are bio mine and other two are neice and neph.my father is is in prison for life for the alledged rape of my neice whom i am raising she has recently recanted her story after years of my family hating me and destroying my life now this and i'm not sure he will even get out now hes 65 and has a real bad heart and i'm once again in the middle my family blames me for standing by hte child what else was i supposed to do sorry if my spelling is off just can't stop crying anymore is anyone else going thriught his too?
I'm so sorry you are going through this. A few questions: how old are the children and how is your relationship with them? Do you have any support (friends, therapy) in your life, people to talk to?
What is so hard in this life, for me at least, is being faced with how powerless we really are. There was nothing you could do about your niece's allegations and if she is changing her story now, you can't control that. You've supported a child that isn't yours despite objections from the family ... you did the right thing. We can only do what feels right at the time. And looking back, we can't judge ourselves negatively if there was information we don't have.
It's terrible to be on the receiving end of negativity from other people. Even if some part of us knows we did the right thing -- and would do it again if the circumstances were the same -- being attacked sometimes causes us to doubt ourselves. I think it's important to keep the focus on what you did right and try to stay as far away as possible from people who would tear you down.
Is there anything more difficult than family?
It helps me to keep focused on what I can control and what I can't. Then relieve myself of responsibility for things I can't control. And try to keep the stuff that tears me down out of my life.
How can we help?
Anne
the kids are boy 15 girl 13 and i thank you for your kind words okay no not much family at all just us since the trial a few years back .my family destroyed our home that would have been paided off next year i have had heart troubles as well. i miss my dad and my family i just don't know what to do they all hate me and i'm just so lonely i have no time to go to therapy my life is the kids .and your right i woukd do it over and you posting to me has helped me thank you to all who care to read the posts and offer some kind of relief.