I need to vent. My brothers girlfriend, as I write this, is

I need to vent. My brothers girlfriend, as I write this, is in labor, and I found out that I'm not allowed in the delivery room when my nephew is born. She kepted talking to me and telling me that she wanted me in the room to get pictures right when he was born, now she changed her mind. I have bent over backwards for her during her pregnancy, buying things for her that she needed for the baby, listening to her when she was having problems with my brother (which was a lot), and recently going on walks with her and coaching her trying to get her to go into labor because she wanted the baby out and she was in the clear. I'm extremely hurt and outraged to the point I don't even want to talk to her or look at her when I go to see my nephew. I don't appreciate being used. I'm sure it doesn't help either that I have forgotten to take my meds the past 3 days for my bipolar and anxiety.

1 Heart

Is it possible that she wasn't using you?
I've heard of women going into labour, with the father, having planned to go through it all together... then suddenly kicking him out of the room, for what could be any number of reasons...

Just guessing...
The sky high emotions and pain and possible trauma of it all ...

Not wanting anyone to see her in pain and in that vulnerable position and state...

There and then, the mother has do what is best for her and the baby.
All that matters is that she has a safe birth, and that she does that in the way that she can best cope with.

And then afterwards, when everything has settled down, re-engage with everyone else.

I can only guess about that, I haven't been in that situation.
Maybe those who have, can help...

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@One_grain_of_sand my brother was allowed in the room, but no one else. I wasn’t told till the last minute that I couldn’t be in there.

@ashleylynn1985 I empathized with your circumstances concerning your brother's girlfriend. Yes, you have gone overboard, and have been especially kind towards her, during her pregnancy..... Buying things for her, that she needed for the baby, listening to her, when she was having lots of problems with your brother in their relationship. In addition going for walks with her, and coaching her into early delivery. It's understable, that you. would be extremely hurt, and outraged by her not allowing you, to be in the delivery room, when your nephew is born. When she told you before, she wanted you to be there, to take pictures. Nobody likes being used...... But you hve to remember to take your meds, for it just makes the situation worst. We are no way responsible for others bad behaviour. When it's approriate, and the time is right, you tell her how you feel, and about her bad attitude, which in no way you deseved...... In the meanwhile please look after your health, your first priority is yourself, and your well being. If you are not well, how can you take care of others.... SG friends are here, to support, and be supported. Be strong the best is yet, to follow..... Hugs my friend.

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@Irma thank you so much for the love and support during this hard time. I don’t like feeling used, especially when it’s family, my brother said that I’m not being used but I told him I feel like I am after everything I did for the two of them. My brother thinks the the meds are an excuse and that my mental health ain’t that bad. Right now I feel so much anger and even jealousy towards the two of them. I’m jealous because I’m 30 and haven’t been lucky in love to have a child. She kind of rubbed it in my face these past 9 months and I told her it hurt, and it hurt deep. Because of her being up her at the house and running me crazy with her wants and complaints I am tired buy the time I go to bed. Plus, my meds I keep on my night stand in a week container and it fell between my bed and night stand. Out of sight, out of mind.

@kaamini One problem with her is that she is very one sided and has that, “My way or the highway” train of thought. Went to visit my nephew, and she was not happy, she was pouting the whole time and began crying when they mistake my brother to be her husband because my brother doesn’t want to marry her let alone purpose to her right away because she is crazy (demanding, controlling, drama queen) I got to hold him for a while, but the tension was building and I wasn’t going to talk to her, look at her or give either one of them a hug after what the two of them did to me at the last minute. I took my again for the first time in a few days, last night. Now I need to let my meds kick in again. Thank you for the support and the kind words, means a lot!

Perhaps it was the hospital that didn't want you in the room. Sometimes there is a limit to who can be present.

@sherriz nope, she stated to my brother she didn’t want me in the room.

Ashley, I am hoping that she comes around soon. Give her a bit of time to adjust with the baby. But, talk with your brother because between the two your relationship and loyalty is with him. You can coordinate visits with your nephew threw him. Trust me, when she needs a break she will be calling you. In the meantime, create boundaries and say "no" when you need to and be flexible at other times. This will allow you to not feel regretful or hurt because you are doing things on your own terms. I hope to hear about good news soon! - Aria Craig (www.AriaCraig.com)