I need too smoke this pain away . Even though its been 6 mon

I need too smoke this pain away . Even though its been 6 months since I've been diagnosed with HIV 1 , I still feel like ****...

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Yes I know the feeling! Been there done that ! Still go back every once in a while ! But it goes get better ! Hang in there ! Go to therapy find support groups ! Meet other poz people in person ! Every little bit helps !

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I would like to know if the meds make you sick? I have had HIV for more than 30 years and never have felt to bad . Now that I am tested and will start meds soon I would like to know if the meds make you sick ? Should I keep trying to fight this with healthy diet?

@Sukie no im not on meds yet .

Im not on meds Im still waiting on my first western blot results . I have no clue what happens to me next?

@ Sukie you mean to say that you were diagnosed poz 30 years back and till now not taking medicines...is there anything which helps you to deal with it..like any diet, food habits or any routine. Please share with us...

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Until this past year I ate very healthy. No red meat ,no fast food or processed food . I will be 52 years old this August and my Father had made the statement when I was in my late teens that he was + for HIV. He had molested me ever since I was 5 years old . I was a very mentally abused as well. locked in closets all day ,forced to watch him do terrible things . When I was old enough to realize that he was the coward and so screwed up .... I shot him and he nearly bled to death. I was 13 years old at that time . I told him he would never touch me or beat my mother or my brother again and I shot him. I did think I was free of him . We moved away from him and I was living a free life and he came to see me when I was 17 .He gave me a plant and I told him all i had ever wanted was for him to be my Dad I did not want a potted plant . I wanted a father . He told me he loved me so much and he was sorry . But if he could not have me as a wife, YUP ! He wanted to tell me he would all WAYs be inside of me . YUP ,yes he did . Then let me know he was HIV positive.

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@Sukie I had no routine I tried all kinds of methods to be healthy. I have faith and believe in God and the spirits of the earth good and evil. Be truthful as much as I could . I fell down hard a couple of times when I was in my twenties for several months and again in my 40’s. pot and drinking . But I just told myself to stop it and be a better person . So I try to be a good person. I have gained a lot of weight this past year and I started eating fast food and other processed crap ,drinking coffee again and after a wreck I was in that broke my back in two places I have gained way to much weight. I have been infected for a very long time and at this age after more than 30 years I feel the need to start meds is here. My panel from the western blot came in . I do not understand it . I have an appointment April 3rd to see a doctor Boger at MUSC in SC. this is a horrible sounding story but I am a human being and I am a loving Mother and Grandma. Oh the reason I got off my regular eating habits is because my Mother is down and out and have been taking care of her and well I love her but she brings me down . She is a very angry woman. And she refuses to talk about the past or seek help. She is mean and negative sounding and acting !! But she is My Mom and I do have fond memories of her when she was happy many years ago. Ya’ll have faith that there is good in this life . When you see the sun sparkle on the trees or water. smile take a deep breath and relax . smell the flowers literally. Good night

I eat a lot of fruit most fond of ,pineapple and grapefruit . I eat a lot of fish . drink a lot of water. I use coconut oil organic unrefined I spread it on my whole grain toast . I grow most of my veggies or shop at the farmers market . I used to never eat fried . anything
I am going back to my old ways because I feel bad . And I want to live 30 more years .

@Sukie Oh and I am not on meds I do not know what is going to happen next . I hope that the meds will not make me sick ,if they do I will get off of them very fast… Bet me on that !

@Sukie very sorry to hear all this happened to you and i m very happy that you fought all this...'Ya'll have faith that there is good in this life . When you see the sun sparkle on the trees or water. smile take a deep breath and relax . smell the flowers literally" this is very inspirational for me.. That gives a hope to live further.

You guys are so very awesome. I'm fighting as Hard now as ever. This is the first time in 30 years I have been honest about this and the ponly fear I have now .... Well there are a few my family and the reaction they are going to have. Also this med thing . I'm very nervous. I'm older now so my gut says its time to start meds . You all be safe this weekend !

I understand the struggle. Sometimes I feel like weed is the only thing keeping me sane, but at the same time I hate my dependence on it. I've been trying to quit for a while now and I end up getting too depressed to the point of having to smoke again. I really like to believe I can kick the habit, staying busy helps.

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