I need your help. I’ve known my husband and his family fo

I need your help. I’ve known my husband and his family for 20 years. My brother in law is engaged and I’ve known his fiancé for 6 yrs. Weve always gotten along and been pretty close. However they just had a party to ask their chosen people to be in the wedding party and I was not included. My husband was asked to be best man. His fiancé is Polish and they said it’s that they have unmarried people in the bridal party as Polish custom and he had to really push for my husband to be in it. They said I’ll have some role in the wedding but don’t know what. My kids are all in the wedding too.

I am so so hurt I was crying and couldn’t sleep last night over it. I feel excluded and hurt that we’re not as close as I thought. I’m also feeling hurt that my husband is participating and it feels like he’s choosing them over me. He did take his brother aside and tell him we were hurt but I haven’t heard anything from them. They are non confrontational and I’m guessing feel awkward bringing it up.

IMO you can’t help how you feel right? How should I handle it with the family? So far we’ve kept our distance and not attended extended family gatherings until my feelings calm down. Im starting to feel less emotional about it but will always feel excluded and hurt by this. Should I encourage my husband to participate as best man and I just show up and be supportive in whatever they ask me to do? Do I share with them that I was hurt or not bring it up? Thanks for your advice!

Going by what you said it doesn't sound like it's personal against you at all. Wait and see what kind of roll you might have in the wedding. I think you should encourage your husband to be best man and yes just show up and be there if you are needed. I really think everything will be ok. It probably showed you at first since you feel that all of you have been close. That's why I lean more towards its nothing personal, it's like they said it's the cultural thing. No, don't bring up that you were hurt, if they bring it up you could say something subtle like you were very surprised and wasn't sure what to think. Try to relax about it ok go for walks and spend more time outside.

@Fohb460 I meant to spell shocked you not showed you.