I am not really even sure how to go about this, I do know that I can see a therapist, but I have small children, and no one to watch them while I go. I was hoping that since I spend most of my days online, that an online group would be helpful. I have no friends here in town, and my family is an hour & a half away. I have to quit smoking pot, but I don't really think that I can. I have always believed that you can't really be addicted to pot, but since I am finding myself thinking about it almost every day, and plotting and scheming ways to get the cash together to get some, I am slowly rearranging my thoughts on that matter. I can't talk about this with my family, as they think I quit years ago when I joined the military, (which I did) I served honorably for five years, and (at the time) the fear of the brig made me stay off it, I didn't care then. Now that I am a mom, and a military spouse, I have turned once again to "mommy's little helper" to help me cope with my husbands' deployment. I am on celexa, and I was on ambien to help me sleep...but I am out of ambien, and have not been back to the doc since before the holidays. I need help.
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Hi Nadine, thank you so much for being here with us and for sharing. I am sorry that it took a bit for me to respond, thank you for posting again. We really try to all respond as quickly as we can to one another. If you also want to post in more than one Group that applies to you, that can help as well (posting in multiple Groups at once). I can imagine the stress that you are going through as a mother, as well as wife of a husband who has been deployed. The good news is that you were once completely clean and you can get there again. Do you have other forms of stress relief for you, do you have another stress reliever that works?
Know that you are not alone, we are here for you.
The silliest (not that it's "silly" per say, just kinda ridiculous--actually) part about it is that I quit (pot AND cigarettes) to join the military, and it was like nothing was missing. (Of course I started smoking tobacco the day I got out of boot camp) Then I quit smoking cigarettes from the moment I found out I was pregnant with my first, and it was like nothing...I didn't smoke a thing for 4 years, all the way through the first deployment, and then for some reason during this deployment it got harder. It's probably because we bought a home, AND I am going to college full time online. I just have more on my plate. I know I need to quit, but when I ask myself what I want to do, I just can't seem to bring myself to be strong enough. I want to be happy, and pot does it...instantly. It works better and faster than Celexa (which I take daily) AND it helps me sleep. I will quit, I know I will, I am just torn...right now. I don't know... I need to exercise more I know that, I have lost 40 pounds since my husband left last year, and I want to lose another 20... One day at a time I guess...
Absolutely Nadine, it's all about taking it one small step and one day at a time. If you can start setting daily goals for yourself that are totally realistic and not overwhelming, then hopefully that will replace the need for smoking all together. It's all about phasing it out with something that is so much healthier for you such as exercise. Once you start to use other modes of stress relief, then the smoking will be a thing of the past.
What's one small thing that you can do today to relieve your stress and smoke less?
I always thought that I was a stronger person than my addictions, and I feel like most of my depression and my anxiety comes from smoking. I have kids and a house, and college, and my husband is gone...life is so darn hard sometimes. I have spent the last few days getting my art-space and home gym cleaned up...I am running/walking 20 minutes every morning starting tomorrow... I don't know if today is a good start, or if it's one more step towards a good start. I really think I need to see a specialist. I have problems that I feel like I need to work on, but I don't think I am gonna get there by myself, and quite honestly . I need to be healthy, and I need to be strong for my children... I know that I am strong enough to beat this, I know I am....I just tend to express myself constantly with a negative view of myself, and I am sure that that is not helping me improve at all.
Nadine, I've only read positivity and optimism in your comment, so I know that you are on the right track. Getting your home gym cleaned and ready, as well as knowing that you need help are all such positive steps in the right direction. Now, next step will be to research local support groups and therapists in your area that can help you through this.