I truly hate sex. I don't enjoy it at all. Yet I can't quit doing it. I am happily married, to a man 22 years older than me. I often initiate sex with my husband and then he asks me the whole time why I'm not enjoying it. I try to lie to him and say that it's painful for me so that I don't enjoy it. But I can't bring myself to tell him that I just don't like sex. I never get off during intercourse, and often have to fake it for him. What can I do to be able to enjoy sex with my husband?
Hey,
Many women don't orgasm during sex for many it can just be about that intimate connection with their mate. Do you know yourself? Do you know what you like in bed? Because you can't help your husband unless you know how you like to be touched. Are you comfortable with sex? Do you feel ok after?
All these things could add to why you are not a fan of sex.
Warmest Wishes
Moongal x
the reason why you hate sex is because both you and your husband are worshipping the "penis." Once you spend equal time on your orgasm, you will enjoy it. Your husband needs to learn that the penis is not the center of the universe and give your own button some attention.
News Flash - your orgasm will not come during "penis" sex. It comes with stimulation on your clitoris.
Another news flash - it might be difficult to get your man to care enough or to understand that you are not as excited as he when he is "doing HIS thing." My husband was 20 years older than me, and it took me 20 years of marriage before I found this out. He really wanted to satisfy me, so he tried, but he always acted like he wanted to remain the student. I got bored always having to instruct him in what I wanted. hopefully your husband will care more and give you what you need. Trust me, when you and he figure it out, you will love it, and it will be worth it.
Sex is a very important part of marriage and it is worth it to try and make it work. Another issue - just for you - is that since you are married to an older man, you need to be aware that physically older men need sex often to keep them from having prostate and urinary problems. So it is worth it to try and fix this now.
A really good descriptive book on sexuality and these issues is written by Shere Hite - called the Hite Report. One is for male sexuality and another one is for female sexuality. Good luck and happy hunting.
Hi Missinmybaby3, I think that it's a good sign that you initiate sex with your husband, because to me that's a sign that you are attracted to him and want to be intimate with him. Though, you need to work on you time and add some foreplay to your intimate moments. Try to spice things up and show him how he can turn you on. I think that if you start to pleasure yourself, show him how to pleasure you, then you will start to really enjoy your intimate moments.
Also, try to mix things up by trying new positions in new places...again adding spice to your intimate moments may have you enjoying it more and more.
Missinmybaby3, if you love your husband then speak openly w/him about how your really feeling so together you can learn/teach eachother alternatives to explore, your likes & dislikes. Intimacy starts (for women) at the beginning of the day & how their man is talking to them/treating them, for men, their horny if awake, most anyway.
We're here when you want to talk.