It's been 441 days and I still do not feel like I will ever be on track again. I lost my husband of 11 years (15 together) on March 1, 2010. I have done the next "right" thing and the next "right" thing day after day and still I feel this incredible loneliness. I so tired of being this way. I have always been a strong person, “the rock” as my family describes me. I have been able to handle whatever has come my way and always came out on top. I just don’t see how that is going to happen this time.
This past year has been such a struggle and I honestly do not know that I am able or willing to continue through it. Thoughts of suicide keep drifting through my head and I reason them out. My daughter (20 years old) would be devastated. My mom and dad need me there to see them through their golden years. How would my closest friends feel if I just did myself in? Yadda, yadda, yadda! Honestly, I don’t think I could hurt myself, but it really concerns me that this one thought keeps coming back again and again.
So this is an attempt to find an outlet for my thoughts. Perhaps some of you that is going through this can provide me with some advice that will help me see the light on the other side of this dark time in my life.
maybe you could go to therapy. i am sorry about your husband. i can only inagine how lonely you must feel. its ok to not be a rock for once. maybe you could see if you could stay with your daughter or your daughter could stay with you for a bit. maybe having her back in the house will help ease some of that lonliness. believe me if my mother were going through this with my father i would bend over backwards to help her and im afraid that day is going to be soon, my dad has been given 5 years to live he is already one year down. his kidneys are shuting down. it is ok to ask for support. i wouldnt try to do it alone it is to hard and that is what family is for. i will be praying for you please let me know how you are doing and know i am here if you need to talk.
Yesterday was my birthday and I can't believe that I am left to be all alone. My husband of 35 years who was everything to me passed away 2 years ago and I am so lonely and disgusted with my life. I feel so overwhelmed with all the responsibilites that I must do. He was my "rock" since I was 15 and was there for me always. Now, I have nothing. I hate this feeling of just being a robot everyday but I can't seem to get peace or happiness from anything. The worst thing is I cant believe that at 56 I have to face life and all that comes with it ALONE. His outlook on life was so positive and we faced many terrible tragities together. I can't do EVERYTHING MYSELF. I am tired. I miss him terribly .If only he would come in my dreams...maybe it would give me some comfort?
I also lost my husband last Feb. 14, 2011. valentines day and the saddest time of my life. we've just been married for 5 yrs. and we have 2 children. I also get lonely and I truly miss him....what really helps me to get out of my loneliness is I keep myself busy...I get to work everyday and I also enroll in a masteral class.....I am also planning to teach by next yr aside from having a full time job... I think by being around with many people and getting myself busy It help me a lot to cope with loneliness.....
I lost my husband almost 6 months ago. I have always be the strong one, I take care of everyone and now I struggle to take care of myself. He died very suddenly and very ugly and at first I was numb I think and the day I picked out his headstone the dam broke and I haven't been able to stop crying since, and I am not a crier it makes me feel weak and that makes me feel more out of control. I feel so lonely and lost without him, we did everything together , went everywhere together, and that just makes things harder. Every corner of our home reminds me of him, we remodeled it together, every room. The yard work, we planted every thing together, so I can't not be home and I can't hardly stand it here, I do yard work and cry the whole time. I talk to him all the time like he is here and when I'm out in public or I break down out in public and have to leave the store. I just don't know what to do with myself.