I recently moved 4 hours away from my ex and my youngest (4 yrs) will be visiting her dad and his wife for three 12 day visits. I know that this is pretty good considering in Texas they can get 43 days straight but this is the first time and the longest time she will be gone and I am absolutely devastated. She leaves in a week and I am having panic attacks because she will spend a majority of her day with her step mom who I have never really even talked to. I've tried setting up meetings to talk about co parenting but my ex always backs out. I have no feelings for him and I was the one who left. I am just really having a hard time with the fact she will be gone for such long periods of time.
Could you contact his wife directly, maybe she would like to talk to you as well!? How is you daughter dealing with all this? I am so sorry you are dealing with all this! Hugs and welcome!
I have asked for his wife's number but have yet to get it. I told him that I needed it before the first long visit beginning this Friday. Last weekend he had called me after I picked her up to ask a stupid question. Eventually the conversation slowly shifted and he started getting angry. He told me that I should be more encouraging about our daughter going to visit he said that the last time I dropped her off with him, that because I told her that I was going to miss her, she said a few times that she was going to miss me. I am very positive when I talk about her summer visits. I tell her that she will have so much fun and that she will get to see her other grandmother. She tells me she doesn't want to go because she will miss me. I respond by telling her that I will miss her too and that if she wants to call me while she's away she can tell daddy and he will let her call me. During my call with my ex he got upset because I had asked about her calling me every 3 or 4 days just so I could talk to her , he said he doesn't ask me to have her call him when I have her. Obviously I would if he had asked me to. I am always accomidating when if he asks to keep her an extra day or when he asked to take her for spring break because they were going skiing. I never say no when it is something that my daughter would enjoy (skiing, birthday parties) if it does not mess up plans we have already. After he yelled at me about being positive about her trip he started bringing up reasons we broke up and why he left. The weird thing about this is that it was over 3 1/2 years ago and he may have left our house but he called me for 2 months after that begging for me to come back to him. I honestly have no feelings for this man and have no idea why he brings up our relationship every few months. Sadly he is narcisstic and he thinks he is always right and nothing he does is wrong. He told me during the call that our daughter has never once said she misses me on her weekend visits (which I know is a lie because there have been several times that she comes home and tells me that she cried for me and her dad told her not to worry about mommy). I have a few friends that had parents who divorced while they were little and the friends who had a parent that constantly bad mouthed the other parent have a very poor relationship with the parent who talked bad about the other one. I have tried telling her dad that I just want to have a cordial relationship, one that allows us to talk about our daughter without him turning into a lunatic. I have even offered to go to lunch with him and his wife so that we could all talk about co-parenting but he kind of dismissed the idea. We had a mutual friend but he ruined their friendship and her and I are really close. We both know him well and feel that he has probably made up conversations between him and I to give his wife a poor view on me. Like I said I really only want to be able to get along for our daughter. I want to be able to talk to him and/or his wife without tension and arguments. It is so hard always having to be the bigger person and I know I sound like a child but it is so unfair. With all the crap I deal with from him; angry phone calls, schedule changes, never pays child support, brings up his unhappiness with our custody agreement that was finalized 3 years ago: I still don't speak poorly about him in front of our daughter. If she asks if I like daddy I smile and say of course I do he's your dad. She honestly rarely talks about him and she never wants to go to his house. This is going to be the longest and hardest 2 months of my life. I keep telling myself that I need to make sure that my oldest daughter has a good summer too. Regardless if I am so sad inside I have to make sure that her summer isn't ruined by me. Thank you CKarma.