I sometimes think maybe i deserved it because i was drinking

Mental Health Depression & Mood Disorders
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i sometimes think maybe i deserved it because i was drinking and maybe he didn't know i didn't want it because i was crying and i didn't fight him off because i was so drunk... do these feelings ever go away? it kills me to think i could have stopped it if i wasn't so drunk when i was raped

1 Heart
2

It is a factor, but it doesn't mean you should beat yourself up. This instance is so common now in days. Still horrible, but girls find themselves in this position so many times. Your a teen like me and so many other girls. Just stay away from any substance that alters the mind, body, and soul. It will decrease the chances of someone being able to take advantage of you again. It is the alcohol that you should hate not yourself. You made a mistake and be grateful it did not cost your life. Focus on the positives until you are stronger and then see just how dangerous the position you put yourself in. Take safer measures and never ever drink under aged. Guys already cross lines when we are sober so being drunk is a disaster waiting to happen. As a girl we have to protect ourselves.

3

No one ever deserves it. It's never your fault!! No one ever "asks" for it. I believe these feelings will go away. I'm so sorry you had to go through this, please don't blame yourself.

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thank you both so much

1 Heart
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@tay1_23xoxo thank you so much. hopefully one day i can

8

good for you for reaching out here for help and support, and for recognizing that the relationship with him is not healthy for you. It is very hard to resist the desire for companionship, even if it is bad companionship, because as humanes we all crave humane attachment. many of us did not grow up loved and cared for. many of us, as children, were not held and hugged and cherished as we should have been. I send you hugs and love and support and I hope you can someday learn to love yourself the same too. As a humane you deserve love no matter what. Take care.

1 Heart
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I feel the same way since I was also extremely drunk, however that never meant I was asking to be taken advantage of. Never ever think you could have stopped it...a lot of people drink, doesn't mean they were "asking for it"

1 Heart
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Alcohol is the most common "date rape" drug by far. Rape is a premeditated act, and alcohol is used as a weapon literally for the purpose of incapacitating their victims far beyond when they could consent or fight them off. In addition, there's an evolutionary aspect to it. I also didn't fight him off but I was crying/saying no and bleeding, and then I just froze. I still feel guilt about this, but I learned that freezing is actually an adaptive evolutionary response to an intensely fearful situation. Like back in the days, if a lion was going to eat you, you'd try to be really still and quiet and hide

1 Heart
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"It is the alcohol that you should hate not yourself. You made a mistake and be grateful it did not cost your life." I must say that I respectfully but strongly disagree with this poster. You should hate the rapist, if anything. Your emotions are completely valid and I had/have very similar feelings. Yet victim-blaming is endemic in our culture, and that comment was victim-blaming, although I don't doubt the poster had only positive intentions