I stuff everything down during the day so I can barely feel

I stuff everything down during the day so I can barely feel anything. I go through the motions and smile on the outside but deep down everything bubbles... Night comes and I'm alone in my room. It's where he physically trapped me. All the memories hit me hard. I get scared and I'm crying. I'm angry that he ever did that. I'm angry that he isolated me from everyone. I'm lonely beyond words. I know it will pass. If only I can fall asleep. The morning will come and I'll be one day further from the lowest point of my life. Why does time go by so slowly?

2 Hearts

You are not alone, we are here for you. *hugs* . Luckily a room has a door on it, and by taking action you can simply step through that door, and get out of the house and meet new people. Even if you just visit family or friends, it's better then being dead alone. So make sure you take effort to visit people that are supportive of your case.

You definitely also need psychiatric help, and i would advice reading self help books as well.

I recommend this book: The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma

http://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/0143127748/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1449452212&sr=8-1&keywords=trauma

This way you can start walking on your pathway to recovery.

1 Heart