I swear every time i do something or visit a place where me

I swear every time i do something or visit a place where me and my ex-wife spent time i can't help but remember her and the memories are now of course tainted. I feel nothing but pain and depression. I find i have to reinvent myself and form new habits. She basically **** all over who i am as a person. I find myself doubting everything i do now. My peers think i'm nuts to have that kind of thinking. Many have been through divorce already and say to just shrug it off, and say she was just mean, and insensitive. Anybody else having the same problem and if so what works to overcome the rejection if you have managed to do so. Counciiling helped at first then it didn't anymore. I just can't shake it.

1 Heart

Yeah my ex did that too. Made me feel like crap. He ruined my life. He created a life with someone that was supposed to be ours and blamed it all on me.

Humans with feelings can't just shrug this off. I find that even just driving down streets we drove on stores, etc... make me remember her. It's not the rejection it's pain it's the worst pain I have ever experienced. Counseling helped a bit meds helped a bit but basically I am just lonely & miserable. I have no problem meeting women but I am not attracted to anyone but her. It's just misery

If i had enough money i would move to a new city just to shake this. Its amazing how a person who is so close to a another person can become so hurtful. I should have never married her. She had a wandering eye even when we were dating. I complained about it and all she did was to hide it from me but continued to look for an upgrade behind my back... A doctor no less. He even knew she was married already unless she would take off the ring when she went to work. He is married too. What scum.

There are so many places I can't go, shows I can't watch, foods I can't eat. Every time I see her in court she looks happier and happier none of this even bothered her. I've had neighbors ask my family if I had cancer because of all the weight I have lost and the overall decline in my appearance. She looks better and better and I look like a bad extra from the walking dead. I looked in the mirror to shave on T-Giving and I look like a dead man.

Do what they do... If it works for them? why not? If it means going out with friends or traveling or whatever.... do it. Some men and women look to a breakup as a new start or a burst into freedom. It is for you too. No more having to check with anybody before you do anything or buying anything or having to satisify someone elses desires when picking what to watch on TV etc. You need to get with some single people and have a good time. Or if that's not your speed, connect with some friends or take a class or join a group. check out meetup.com its where people with a common interest find each other and hang out. Its interests based... like if you like to take pictures etc. I watch my exwife move forward without any problems too. It pisses me off. I get so pissed off that it pushes me to try. I mean, i'm starting to realize that i was the driving force in our lives not her. After years of put downs i started to believe the opposite and that i had no value. Its BS. I think she was just pissed off that i was so strong and she wasn't so she had to cut me down to her size. It worked after a while as i really didn't defend myself. I figured i would let things slide... instead just thinking she had a rough day at work or something. Its a big mistake. Don't let anybody belittle you at any time. At work or otherwise. It starts to become self fulfilling and that is dangerous to your well being. Think back to the times you were a star.... really doing well. Maybe back to a time when your previously significant other was really into you. That's you. Still the same person in there. Just get back to full strength. Think back to how you did it the last time. Repeat the steps or use some newly learned ones... even if its from your ex-wife. Go watch a movie or continue to chat online with people who care and can help undo the damage. It helps to hear from somebody else that your OK, and not worthless.

The councilor i had was a tough cookie. She basically said i made a bid mistake to allow so many disrespectful transgressions... That i was too passive and should have kicked my exwife to the curb a long time ago for having such a wandering eye and for being mean and disrespectful to me. These things are unacceptable i a relationship where your supposed to be in love 100% and committed to eachother for life. The reason for that is that it wears people down to the point of deminishing their functioning. I think thats what most people here, who are having a hard time feel. Years of abuse or just the sudden but large abusive shock of someone leaving. Thats what it is really when someone rejects you. Abuse. And abuse is damaging. Now you know one way to fix it.... just realize you deserve better and your not the one in the wrong. They are the lower grade person not you.

Very well said,,,

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