I think i had my first major meltdown from being heavily tri

i think i had my first major meltdown from being heavily triggered last night.
i was reminded of someone who hurt me very badly, and it happened a few times before i just kind of froze. i was on call with a boy i really like and everything, especially his voice and the way he talked to me, just brought me back to a very bad time. i froze for a few minutes and he kept calling for me because i went silent while having what felt like my first legit flashback (as far as i remember) and i freaked out and pulled my headphones off and started crying. it wasn't super bad crying but it was relentless and long. thankfully my cat saved me from doing anything stupid by sitting in my lap and letting me soak her with my tears. i ended up leaving the call early. the whole situation was terrifying and my body and mind felt like they were right back in the same times as when the biggest abuser in my lifetime was abusing me.
for once, i don't feel like i'm being dramatic. for once i feel like something really did happen to me and that i am rightfully traumatized, unlike what i've felt for so long. this feels like a step in the right direction for me.

1 Heart

I am so sorry you were triggered and so proud of how you handled things!  Did you call the guy back, or are you just chalking this one up to lessons learned?

1 Heart

@CKBlossom we haven’t had the chance to call again yet. his home life is complicated and he doesn’t get much privacy, we only got to call because he was home alone. i ended up sleeping after my breakdown, and he was understanding (it was very late anyways).