Well, my husband suffers from allergies, and he's just gotten his first stuffy nose, sneeze, etc. I think it's bugging him that I'm constantly asking him if he' okay. I worry with every sniffle that we're dealing with Hodgkin's again. Anybody know how I can deal with this a little better? As of now, I'm just doing the best I can to keep my feelings to myself! LOL
hi gregswife, since i don't have a hubby with lymphoma i can't advise from that stand point but cna sure understnad your constant worry about him and "driving him crazy" others here could better advise but in the meantime dont' keep your feelings to yourself, thatl's what we are here for hun.
Oh boy! I am that husband! Not the allergy that gets up my nose, but the "Are you alright?" if I cough. This is after nearly 10 years. Still, I know she cares, so I don't get annoyed. It's a man / woman thing, Gregswife, you are not alone.
Uh...stop asking ? :)
Easier said than done when you've gone through something like that...
Gregswife, you are so right! I can give you some assurance, though. Greg will deal with the little add-on problems with no great trouble. he will soon know a real cold or hay fever from anything more sinister. You will still worry, and nothing he does will change that.
Greg will presumably still be on frequent checks at his hospital. As well as that, your family doctor will have seen HL before, and will know what to look for in the future. The biggest problem I've had is after moving house, and signing up to a new doctor. The old one had got used to me, my new one is just starting on me, which may explain why I have just had a CT scan, and have to go for an echo cardiogram tonight. I don't think either is going to reveal anything I don't already know. Such is life.
And such is wife!
Thank, Tony. :) You always know the right thing to say!
And so do you! Keep worrying twice, it will save Greg having to worry as well.
And I love the C S Lewis quote, even though I am older without being noticeably wiser.
Dear Gregswife. I am an oncology nurse and seems like what you are doing is perfectly natural. You are afraid the man you love is going to have a recurrence of his lymphoma. As time goes by and more checks are done confirming he remains cancer free, your anxieties will lift alittle at a time. However, I do not think it is uncommon that, right now, you are afraid he has more than allergies. Don't keep anything to yourself. Tell your husband how you are feeling. Have open conversations with him about these things. Cancer is something that does not affect just your husband, it affects you and your entire family. Here if you need me.
Kelly
@ Kelly. Thank you for your kind words! I think you're right that it gets better the farther we get away from it. On my good days, it almost seems as if it were a bad dream and never really happened. On the rougher days I can't think about anything else.
@ Tony K - A C.S. Lewis fan, huh? You're a man after my own heart! :) He's one of my favorite authors. :)
Oh, and just an update. His sniffles have cleared up and now I have them. He likes to point that out every chance he gets. LOL ;)
Gregswife, I certainly am a C S L fan, and I've been to Chester Zoo, too! I'm glad to hear that Greg's slight cold has cleared up.
This whole thread brings to mind the role of logic in dealing with cancer, or more likely, the absence of logic. I was the ill one, and I was telling my wife, family, and friends to keep this in perspective, don't worry, medicine is very good, I'm sure I'll be OK, so try to cheer up, etc. Shouldn't it be the other way round? Not that I didn't have my low moments, but I don't think I suffered as badly as those watching. For this reason, I fully understand what you are going through, albeit from Greg's perspective.
I think I'll write a book now.
Yes, Greg and I have talked about that very thing before. I told him how much easier it would have been for me if I'd been the one to end up with cancer rather than him. Matter of fact, I thought about that as he was going through treatment quite regularly.
I have a reputation as a "mama bear." I tend to want to kick some tail when someone messes with one of my own. Unfortunately, I couldn't do much to cancer which made me feel horrible and helpless.
Greg was just like you were. Just very positive and matter-of-fact about it all. I told him many times that it should have been the other way around as I was bawling my eyes out. He would just smile, hug me and bring me back down to the planet. LOL
Gregswife,
They don't call us the "patient" for nothing, you know! It's hard work, having Hodgkins, what with counselling family, entertaining visitors, buying tissues for wives,, etc. I'm surprised I found time for the treatment. But we cope, somehow. And we really appreciate the love and concern, even if we don't always let on.
Keep it up!
Forgot to mention - the CT scan and echocardiogram came back. The results were normal for me, and nothing I wasn't told 8 years ago. Except that my liver and kidneys look normal. After all I put them through in my younger days, I am amazed.
Kelly123 - you have hit the nail right on the head. This thing affects everybody, not just the patient. I felt helpless, my family felt helpless, but at least I knew why I was ill. We rely on you and your colleagues to sort it out, and thanks to you all.
I am hoist by my own petard. Third day in bed today, with a nasty horrible summer cold, bordering on a chest infection. My wife thinks I should see a doctor, and I'm beginning to agree, although I'm sure it is nothing much. Who'd be a prophet, eh?
Oh goodness! Yes, get to the doctor! Chest infection wouldn't be a good start to the summer. Let me know how you're doing. :)
So, antibiotics to add to the chemical stockpile they call my breakfast. I'll sit home and watch the birds in the garden whilst they do the business.
You needed a little vacation anyway. :) Glad you are on the mend.
Thanks, Gregswife. I've only been home from my last holiday for three weeks, but you are right.
Sorry -accidental duplicate