So far i feel like everthing aint been goin right. i cheat on my boyfriend of five years because i felt inadequate, worhtless, I'm always upset and not happy (thats what he has told me several time when we argued). and i dont disagree with him-stress. I disliked school-stress, I had an abortion b/c of school-stress, i graduate but struggled with the exit exams-stress, I was currently dismissed by my last internship by 1 point today-stress, had a miscarriage at (7 weeks) during my midterm at this internship-stress, i have no money/no job-stress, i can't get through to my bf about a female friend of his any why it bothers me that he even talks to her period (same argument before I cheated and 6 months to a yr before that), I dont feel like im good enough to do anything but sleep, and sometimes not even that. Me and my bf got into a big argument yesterday, and i had had it with life at that point. I tried to hang myself yesterday with an extension cord, I tied the end to a door knob and climb over a wall over the stair way. It failed, i guess i didnt tie it right, the double knot slipped and i crashed down onto the stairs. I just laid there, honestly wonderin why it didnt work. I cried b/c of emotional and physical pain. i feel like all of this is my bad karma for cheating. After being dismissed today, i feel like i would have done myself and everybody else a favor by succeeding in my attempt. Im sorry if i have disturb any of you by reading this, but my name fits exactly how im feeling and how i been feeling for the past 6 months... I'm gone to have a nice tall alcho drink. I dont kno if i'll attempt again and fail/succeed, but i do want to thank everybody for just listening to me. I dont feel like i have anybody to listen so i just appreciate it. thank you. Even though i dont kno u. i love u :)
Oh hunny, I hope you didn't try and I really hope if you did then I am not to late to talk you and that your attempt was a failure..My dear before you kill yourself you have to ask is the timing right who knows u could have the winning lottery ticket in ur purse the one thing that could have changed ur life or a job you applied for was calling u in for an interview or u are prego....is the timing right....??? No! You have a lot to look forward to just right now there if fog in your way but baby a sunny day will come, we just got to ride it out....talk to me let me help just please dont hurt urself!