i used to binge drink in college. i would drink 14 drinks a night on weekends. i stopped but drank off and on after that. i drank so much. i can still drink just one, but then alcohol is missing in the house and i dont know if its me. i pissed myself in my car the other day worried i was drinking and would have to give up driving, wanting to kill myself. my family doesn't believe i am an alcoholic. maybe it wasn't me. i am am a weaker female than i thought.
http://www.poets.org/poetsorg/poem/void-and-compensation-karaoke-genesis?utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Poem-a-Day++February+13+2015&utm_content=Poem-a-Day++February+13+2015+CID_408d38c750cb331d4f2915076535c80a&utm_source=Email%20marketing%20software&utm_term=Void%20and%20Compensation%20Karaoke%20Genesis
You are not weak!
Alcohol can ruin lives. It's a terrible habit to kick. I've drank myself silly on multiple occassions, leading to tachycardia, alcohol poisoning etc. I can sympathize with you completely.
Don't be so hard on yourself <3