I've been dating my boyfriend for almost 4 years. When we started dating, i told him how i used to be really depressed and suicidal. He asked if i still was and i told him no. It was the truth. It was until my best friend moved away. almost 2 years ago. Since then, I've slowly been creeping back into my depression. I don't want him to think that he's not good enough to help me like she did, and im scared to death that he'll become offended that i kept this from him. I would be i suppose, but I don't want him to hate me for something i should be able to control but just can't. I wrote down everything i felt once before, and left it in the open on accident. When i woke up, he had asked me about it, but iwas to scared to tell him it was the whole truth with parts missing. I really want him to know, because we have been talking of getting married, and i want to know if he will still accept me after i tell him how much i hate myself. Will he think im stupid, or be angry for not telling him? Or call me selfish and a liar? im not good with confrentation as it is, so i was thinking of writing him a letter when i go and hang out with a good friend of mine. im scared n need help and advice..plz
Sami,
I know you are scared to tell your boyfriend the truth. Believe me, I have been in that place before. But the best thing to do right now is to tell him. I know it sounds hard, and you are afraid he wont except you- but you have been dating for a long time. I believe he will understand and actually help you deal with these feelings. When I decided to tell my boyfriend of my eating disorder the first time (barely a year into dating) I didn't think he would stay with me. But hey, we are still dating to this day, 3.5 years later! He has been such a HUGE part in my recovery and getting feelings out. And it is such a relief to tell him.
He shouldn't think your are stupid or lying. Just sit him down and say I really would like to talk about somethings that are bothering me. Make sure he knows its a serious talk. A letter could work if you are afraid of telling him, I understand about being afraid to tell the truth about yourself to someones face. But with your boyfriend, it may be better to actually do it face to face so he knows youre serious and you need support.
I wish you much luck! Let us know how it goes!
allee
thank you so much for your advice. i wrote a long letter to him just in case i cant bring myself to talk about it. thanks again. i hope it goes well =)
sami-
definitely tell your boyfriend, i'm sure that he truly cares about you and will want to be there for you. The best thing you can do for your relationship is be open and honest and give him the benefit of the doubt that he will understand. Also you never know what kind of support system he can be for you until you talk to him. This could bring you much closer together.
Let us know how it all goes. stay strong!
On this earth, we constantly dealing with different type of problems, that is why we need each other. Your sincere conversation will show you if he is truly a good soul and a decent person.If he is, he will be there for you through thick and thin. We need compassion and understanding from each other. God bless you.
thanks you guys. i rteally appreciate your help and concern. i have yet to tell him. hes away right now for AT which is a military thing if you didnt know. so he will be gone for 2 weeks.
I will be praying for you to have a peaceful conversation with your boyfriend. Everything will work out. God bless you both.