Monday night I had some really bad dreams. I don't remember them but I do know that I woke up each time in a cpld sweat, shaking and crying. When I finally woke up yesterday morning I was antsy as hell and I had to get out of bed immediately. Then I had to call the uneployment office because my payments stopped. Came to realize that the 26 weeks were up. I had lost count. Then they told me that because last summer I worked for a friend in a different state there were all sorts of new hoops to jump through for the "extended benfits." I made all the calls and then just fell apart. I called my friend out of state to warn himm and he said the the school would deny it so then it will come back here. I know that eventually benefits will start again but don't know when. Yesterday became the darkest day that I have had in ages: fighting anxiety, depression, loneliness, panic attacks, unemployment, hte injury that continues to leave me house bound and this feeling of complete and utter uselessness. All I wanted yesterday was to disappear and be NUMB. I reacher out to me two friends who do understand and they were both very concerned. They thought maybe I should go to the hospital. I did not. I also called my doctor who I will speak with today since I could not get a ride.Some days are decent. Some are blah and some are so freaking dark.I am just so frsutrated,sad and tired.
I completely understand......I have been there myself. Not your exact situation, but the feelings....the darkness...the sadness and exhaustion.
You are not alone....and I am glad you have friends that understand, that are there to help you.
I am sorry to hear about your injury that keeps you housebound....I understand that, too, as my 17 year old son has had 5 leg surgeries since last July.
I hope when you talk to your doc today you and he/she can figure something out....
If you ever want to talk, I am around alot since I have discovered this site....All my best to you...
Love & Light,
YaYa
Thank you YaYa. Today has only been a little easier but easier is till easier.