ok.
so most of you know ive gone through months of health issues that may or may not be ED related but I've been tested for every illness and cancer... ugh. i've had bouts of bad GI bleeding, bruising and extreme exhaustion and although I have not been acting out on any ED symptoms that would cause this - it hasn't helped with the restricting aspect of things. I was also diagnosed with Mono back in Dec - so (to be fair to me....) I have been sick and have lost some weight because of it....
WELL.... last week someone called me to 'confront me' on my ED saying that I was using a 'fake illness to act out on my ED' REALLY?!?! REALLY?!?!? A FAKE EFFING ILLNESS?!?!?!? NO WAY WOULD I BE GOING THROUGH HALF OF THIS 'just cause' I wanted to loose weight!!!!! GEEZ! I was so put off and offended! for almost an hour, through tears, I had to 'defend' myself against this person.... it was soooo CRAZY! To be honest? YES - it has being so sick and losing weight rapidly has been triggering... but I would not say that her perspective of things was any where CLOSE to the truth! I have acknowledged to myself, my husband and my doctors that I felt i may be slipping just because I have been sick and I have no appetite to eat - BUT i am in no way intentionally trying to loose a billion pounds or even WANT to be this thin! TRUST ME! I'd rather be healthy and a few lbs heavier than sickly!
I feel like I have a healthy view of things... but at the same time, I don't even 'feel' like i have lost a ton of weight or anything. not that i am trying too... but this person who 'called me out' said that a drug user wouldn't admit they needed treatment.... and I am so far 'lost' I can't see that right now....
I also know this person has struggled in the past and that right now they are going through a lot of 'personal issues' - and of course the ED in me wants to think that she's just jealous that I am much thinner than her... and she just wants to take things out on me.... But that's not fair to her... ugh.
She also spent an hour totally ripping me apart over her 'concern' for me... THEN went and publicly FB bashed me! I don't know... but that kinda discounts your 'genuine concern' if you ask me....
I have to admit Jenny and Im very sorry for all that you are going through but for myself................I have been extremely jealous of your weight loss. Our Eds can make us very smart as to even convince us there is no problem when visually there is.
Yet at the same time I believe that the weight loss was due to your Mono I also believe that your ED is also contributing.
The good thing is that your honesty with your husband and your Dr is key to battling all of this
As for your friend I believe although she may be concerned her way of showing it is not helpful at all and I think you should let her know how hurtful her action have been towards you.
All I can really say here is you know your truth as long as your honest with yourself and everyone else I pray you will get through this and reagian back your health and your life.
Love you and your strength..just keep fighting it
Love AG♥
Thanks AG....
I honestly think I'm in the healthiest position ive been in months and she came came along and knocked me down! I acknoledge the concern EVEN I HAVE for things... but I am being as honest as I can be.... and I HONESTLY think I am on the upside of this thing... but I am still scared to death that EVEN I AM in denial about things.... since I don't 'see' the weight loss myself even though I know I've had to go out and by all new clothes since nothing fits me...
Where are the lines drawn between this is an issues/ this was an issues/ i know this is an issue and i am working on it.... I am just having a hard time really processing all of this ON TOP of these generalized comments made with VERY LITTLE knowledge of the true situation....
Im sorry LA boy do i ever feel for you girl.. I think Im sure I would feel the same way as you if a friend did the same thing to me. i can only imagine the confusion with trying to process it all.
i know your being honest and Im happy you are ..all I can say is keep being honest and I pray that this nightmare ends for you soon and there is a happy outcome..
Love AG♥
have you ever thought about just Not responding to these people..
You can have the greatest dignity you will ever know if you just look at them and have an indignant look for them and walk off..... Silence has great power behind it, and you don't stoop to thier level. You have no need to defend yourself, your dignity is defense enough.
not to mention it save you a lot of energy and stress.
LA...I agree with all comments, and you truly do not owe this 'friend' any response. Perhaps you can look inside and think now what you need to do to protect yourself from further weight loss and further possible damage from ED related problems. You have choices too! Thinking of you....Jan ♥