I was just dumped by the married man I was seeing. He told me how miserable he was in his marriage, asked me about divorce things, etc, but when his wife found out about us I became the leper and I can't even begin to explain how I'm feeling. I feel awful about what I did and what is happening right now. I know I don't deserve any sympathy, but I'm devastated. Any advice out there from anyone of how to move through the pain faster? I'd appreciate it. Thanks. I previously posted this question, but had to repost it as the thread became too long. Feel free to respond. Thank you!
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I had to repost this post because once the discussion feeds get to 100 comments it starts to slow down the server. Feel free to continue responding here. Thanks!
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@bev_hillsdiva im glad you are still here with us. Are things improving?
I am glad also to her therapy again.. May I ask a personal question. how did you go about picking a therapist. suggestion of a Hospital. doctor or maybe a friend? my insurance only pays for so many sessions and they give you suggested list and will pay more per session if you go to them rather than pick your own . I feel like this one I have is just not for me. any info would be appreciated
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@Pbj53 sorry too early in the morning. cant type I am glad also that your going to therapy again.
Thanks I guess I can just call a hospital and ask for a referral department since I have not been in the hospital for this kind of issue and would not have a starting point. Thanks again
Beverly Hills Diva.. I just want to say that I tend to dream about things put in my mind and it races most of the night havent had a good night sleep for a very longs time I had a dream about you , even tho havent met you but you were on Rodao drive (hence the Bev Hills Diva ) in California shopping for a new outfit to go with your new attitude and success in getting thru this.. I did call for a few referrals of therapists .. thanks for that suggestion hope you are doing better and not tempted to contact him. and hope he contacting you either.. remember you are stronger than we think I also notice that one of my post early did not take so I will add thoughts soon
@Pbj53 Hey there. Ironically, your dream is just like me. I love CA and used to work in Beverly Hills and that is how I got that nickname. Small world!
I’m glad that you got referrals. That’s a great start. Slowly but surely I’m getting better. I’m starting to hang out with people and I’m trying to get out more and just trying to get my life back. There are days that are harder than others, but overall I have to give myself credit for getting through each day as best as I can. It helps when I have great people like you to reach out to me to see how I’m doing. I will never forget that. Let me know if you need anything.
I am sorry but I do not have any symphony for you. I found out two weeks ago that my husband was cheating and these pictures are in my head, of her and him and I just want to vomit. Im sorry but I do not feel for you. YOU knew he was married and you should have known better, so should have him.
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@PixieP Hi Pixi . I’m sorry for what you are going through. I’ve had this post up for over a month and I’ve admitted my wrongdoing and have apologized. I appreciate you sharing with me and everyone else but I’m trying to move forward at this point. I don’t expect you to to grieve for me or even care about me but I’ve said my I’m sorrys and I am trying to move on. I have had more than enough people tell me I was wrong and I’m aware of it. I made a mistake and I can’t take it back. He and I should have never been and I know that now. As I have said before if I could take it all back I would but I am still human and still have feelings too. Just because I made a huge mistake doesn’t make you any better than me as far as being a human being. I am sincerely sorry that you were cheated on. You are more than welcome to read my other posts like this one to find strength and others to talk to. Again I am sorry for what I did and for what you are going through.
I appreciate your reply, I became a member only today so I was not aware of your other posts.
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@PixieP and that is totally fine. We are all here to help each other. I started posting here almost two months ago. There are amazing women here, on both sides of this, who helped me. I have had plenty of wives read me my rights and I know I deserve it. However since the affair I participated in I have sought out therapy and I have firmly decided to never do anything like this again. I would never compare the pain I’ve felt to what his wife or you are going through. I don’t have that right but as I human I fell in love with a man that wasn’t mine to fall in love with and I had to learn that the hard way. It doesn’t make it easier but if I could change it all I absolutely would. I was wrong, dead wrong, and I own that. I’m here if you need me.
I placed a post but does not appear to have posted to. I read all of your post and first I hope you are ,doing better. I am not trying to drag up old emotions but I have to ask if you stayed true to your word of not contacting him . Or has he contacted you. If you can honestly answer. Did you mention he had kids? Hopefully older if he does. .. And what website did you meet that has a platonic area. Just curious. I am a cheated on wife and trying to see the other side of all this. There is always two sides. And that is what is helping me get thru my pain to understand my situation. His age appears to be almost at the end of the baby boomer . I hope you are In a better place now as it appears you were hurt by his lies and deceit
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@MandyJ @MandyJ Hi Mandy and thank you for your reply!
I did keep true to my word. I did not and don’t plan to contact him or his family and he hasn’t tried to contact me either.
He and I met on a local website to my area. I posted in the platonic section and he responded. In hindsight, we were wrong from the beginning, but hindsight is always 20/20. I didn’t realize it but I didn’t know he was married until we had already gotten very much involved BUT it doesn’t matter I should have walked away as soon as I found out.
I am sorry that you are going through this, but this group has truly helped me to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I have been changed by this entire experience, in some good ways and in some bad ways, but I am thankful that I’ve become a different person.
I know that his wife and family will and have hurt worse that I could ever imagine so I never compare but I am human and I made a huge mistake, but I have feelings too. If I could take it all back, I absolutely would.
If you need to talk, we are here for you. Don’t hesitate to reach out.