I went to my tiny part time job today i never thought i'd have to live on

One week and one day since i was fired by a mean boss who hated on me. it is all so fantastic. 2nd day without alcohol since i was fired. it would be great to think be great to have my life back just the way it was, except her hating on me part.

i am having trouble believing i can have a decent future. i have a friend who lives nearby who went through an almost exact senario in march. i did not know she went through it at all until she stopped by and i was drunk an told her what happened to me and she opened up and told me her story. it was grounding to have someone to relate to who has gone through it over more time than me. she has her parents who are doing well to help her, and her boyfriend and a 2 year old she has to be strong for.

i will not even be able to keep my pets depending on my next scenario.

i must meditate. i have hateful thoughts about my ex boss and i really think that is bad for me. i wonder if she wanted me to hate her as much as she hated on me. bizarre.

hopefully if i stay sober i can get something accomplished today.

i am so afraid and feel so abused and crippled, emotionally, physically and financially.

i must be careful about making enemies in the future. but it was hapless on my part and so petty on hers. like she was insane with power and just wanted to do harm. everyone i worked with (my manager was a phantom manager who we never saw but when to with problems), liked and appreciated me, except one guy that everyone else hated, i mean hated, too. but she liked him. the story is fantastic.

and that my union did not save my job is just as fantastic because all the evidence was there. it was all there.

there is a job in buffalo i really want, a four hour drive away. i would be so happy if i got it. so **** happy. but i don't know if i can compete with a termination behind me. (no one is supposed to find out) (it is illegal for human resources or my manager to tell them), but you never know. i mean if the woman hates me that much she will ruin my chances of getting another job too. i know these hateful people and they are crazy with hatred. that is why when i have hateful thoughts towards her, i feel like she has so won, so destroyed me, so ruined me in every which way.

i will just stay sober today and meditate. tomorrow i will file for low income healthcare and go to the unemployement office because i forgot to put in for my check on friday because i was so emotionally distraught.

god help me. god help us all. god help me heal. god help me be strong and move on and god give me good fortune. the market is so tight now. i am having trouble breathing every resume i send.

i am so afraid an have no strength. i am an emotional burden to all my friends. i am ashamed to tell my family what has happened to me. ashamed of someone hating me so much she wanted to destroy me.

Take yourself out of the equation of someone hating you. That is her problem and she must live with it. She will be repaid for her acts of kindness and unkindness with what she deserves.
You don't have to be strong to move on. Every moment unfolds whether we want it to or not. Just keep the momentum going and you will find yourself in a better place a months from now.

There are certain things we cant control in life and i think having a jerk for a boss is one of those things. Stay strong. Stay sober. Pray. Pray alot. Just see what God can do for you. I hope you find an even better job than before.

I drank four pints last night. I can't get out of bed. An employment recruiter told me she couldn't get me an interview because there were too many questions in my history.
I have good references and a lot of work experience. But. Not good enuf in this economy. I can't get out of bed. That is where I'm at and frustrated I spent 20$ on beer last night

I do not think you are alone in that detail. A lot of people in the medical field are in your plight. I know because I work as a nurse myself and see this happen to other people all the time...in fact, I just got my walking papers yesterday which is why I started reading your post.
There are many nurses who feel that they have great work ethics and reputations, but in this field you make a lot of enemies: Too much estrogen in the workplace.
There is nothing we can do about that situation, but we can try to survive the best that we can...I would try to seek out a professional to help you design a resume and guide you with interviews.
You must have had marketable qualities; otherwise, you would not have lasted so long at your last job.
Take care of yourself. Take a long, hot bath, read a book, whatever it is that you do to unwind...and let God bring you the answers. Just don't try to think too much about your situation.
Lots of love and encouragement to you, dear friend.

I am so sorry for ur terrible loss. But there is a nursing shortage n u will get right back on that horse. I looked into going back to school for RNing but it will take years n it is so competative to get into school now. My field is kaput, saturated over. Rejection after rejection. Used to b I cud get a job in 10 minuets. Salaries tanked no benefits. My manager was a monster to tear my life assumder like this. I was suspended for two months before I got fired. My union went through the motions of trying to save me. But management is powerful. And my union rep was lazy. I have been in a near perpetual state of anxiety for months n that bad.

God help us all. Blessings to u. Thank u for responding to my anguish

I am actually trying to get out of nursing by going back to school right now. This is not a good time for many in the medical field: Even the doctors are unhappy with the new health care reform that is taking place.
I found my last job while I was volunteering for a free clinic. I would suggest that you not keep yourself in your house because being alone with your thoughts can be pretty depressing when you are having those kinds of problems.

wow!!!!!! leaving nursing. i mean there will be a shortage for another 20 years. is it because of the termination? nothing is safe really but nursing is safter than many other things.

but whatever you decide. i have a phone interview for a very nice job in the midwest. i live in new england. my bff stopped by this morning and we cried at the idea of me moving so far away, but no friends or family want you to end up sleeping on their couch, that is for sure.

breaks my heart. i do have a mini part time job, 2 days a week in a private dr's office, no benefits and my unemployment suppliments the rest. i was going to volunteer, but my rep is so bad i even got rejected for a volunteer position!!!!. wow. drag.

i have much to do now. pull my paperwork together for some health insurance i get through unemployment, catch up on bills and job hunt job hunt job hunt.

my biggest enemy is alcohol. things could be worse. i got unemployment. i still work 2 days a week. i own an income property that i am trying to fix up incase i have to move in a hurry. i have 95 weeks of unemployment left on the wall, 95 weeks, take one down, pass it around, 94 weeks of unemployment on the wall. if i drink i get depressed the next day and can't even move. it is my big enemy now.

god, i pray for all of us. pray for a good economy again. rpay for a good job and decent livelihood. pray no one ever ever hates me again. it was so unfair she decided to hate on me. i want a career and everything else will follow. i can't a date now because i am too disturbed and have nothing to give and it makes me sad to think i will die alone. i will be 50 in a few months. hard to get a job in my middle age with the pox of termination behind me in a tight job market. boy am i scared when i really think of it. fear alcohol. wow. what a combo. god help us all. god help us all

You are so funny. I am not trying to be funny, myself, but you still seem to have a sense of humor. (Getting rejected for a volunteer position...of all things! You don't have to be or have much to do that).
Even if you move, you can count on me to open up to, including your friend in the northeast.
It seems that you are unencumbered by children, so you don't have that to keep you down.
You have a lot of energy to keep plugging on, so good for you!
Have a good day, okay?

i am very discouraged. i searched for jobs all day on line and found most jobs in echocardiography are now without benefits. i have a phone interview being set up for a job i am not quite qualified for, so i will really have to market hard for myself and convince them i am the one to train. i am riddled with anxiety and dying to get working full time again in a hosptial setting. i am just dying to do this and i am afraid my termination will get caught wind of. i have good references from my last job and good references from my current job.

i hope i will get the job. i pray i will get a good career job. i am plugging as hard as i can. no jobs in cardiac ultrasound really. used to be it took 10 minutes to get a job. no **** 10 minutes. boy am i ****ting in my pants. boy am i scared. i looked into nursing school . it is so miserable. terribly miserable. money, studying algebra and the like. terrible. but i must be relevent. i must do something. terrible.

The job I just had was in a cardiology office setting. That specialty is losing a lot of reimbursements for those types of tests. It will not be lucrative to do too many of them anymore.
Try not to be too nervous during your interviews. Let them see you confident. I don't really think that your past employer can say they terminated you because it's not really legal to do so...people get fired by maniacs all the time.
You were at the job for a long time. I would emphasize the good points and not mention what happened. You are selling your abilities, not your liabilities. (I am not saying you have any of those, but I am sure that is how you feel because of what that lady did to you).

Yes. I know cardiology offices are going under. I'm not getting many interviews. N many hospitals r offering per diem only which used to b unheard of in echo. I have an interview next week. I'm not totally quaified but I'd b an excellent person to train. I'm praying like a lunatic

What is ur next move

I am trying to get unemployment for the moment because there aren't many jobs here. Besides, I am trying to go back to school and get out of nursing. I don't want to step into another nursing job again.
You are better of, if you do try to stay in the medical field, to get into something like physical or occupational therapy. They make good salaries and they are often happy with their jobs because they don't have the stress and they get a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment from what they do.
I am praying that you find something soon. I don't know if you ever heard of Linkedin, but it seems like a good site for uploading resumes and networking. They have a much larger database of jobs than other websites.
Good luck to you. You are here for a reason.

I can't believe ud leave nursing!!!! Most people wud kill to have that sheepskin!! What do u want to go back to school for? Did ur job fight u on unemployment!!!! Wow. Wow. I have a phone interview next week. If I get this job I will be very happy. I will b happier than anyone. It is in Madison wi. Ok will miss my life in new England. But I must have a livelihood. I will miss my friends n family but they don't want me sleeping ok their couch either whining with pain n suffering.

I am not hung over today. So I'm not suicidal which is good. I'm meeting with my union reps today to find out how my manager managed to get me fired n how they cud not win my case. I'm so ready to move on but there's nowhere to go at the moment

And thank u for info on linkedin. I will b interested in what page u turn next.

My heart is not into nursing. It might have been different if the climate was better...speaking morally, of course. Work-life balance is difficult, if not impossible, to achieve. The jealousy runs rampant in that field, so the daggers fly.
I would eventually try to wean yourself from drinking, just so you can think a little more clearly when you are awake. Also, it might even help to go for a walk and do something physical to stimulate your endorphins...In fact, I went for a short jog today, myself.
If you start feeling down, just imagine the worst that could happen. And then, decide whether those things are actually probable. The say that most things we fear never actually materialize.
You have survived this far. There is nothing to say that you will become utterly desolate now.
I would even suggest making a list of things to do daily, to keep yourself disciplined while you are out of work.

wow, you have such a good attitude. and you just lost your job. wow. amazing. but you know what. gettting out of nursing won't make a difference. daggers fly everywhere. jealousy runs rampant in every field. you have an awesome skill. those problems of morale and environment are true for almost everyplace. there will always be someone that will make you crazy. in my case my last manager drove me nuts and it finally came out one day in a hint of irriation in my voice when i talked to her, and boy i was on the hit list ever since. heartbreaking cuz i liked my job and she has trashed my rep so much i can only hope to get another job after relocating.

heartbreaking. i wish i could do something else. but i am old and stupid and echo was the best i could do. if i had the brains i would have become a nurse. you are crazy to give up such a good profession.

but you have a great positive outlook and you are an imspiration to me. it must be nice knowing you could get another job relatively easy if you wanted in a good well paying field.

believe me all that crap about the environment and morale, it is true everywhere.

i met with my union rep today. i asked them to appeal my case. if they are not lazy and win my case in front of an independent mediator, i could get my job back and i would be very happy about that because they would have to ask my manager to not write me up for petty things anymore.

i could win, just the union is so lazy and toothless lately. i begged them to fight for me. i told them i wanted to keep my food and shelter and to help me against this manaical manager with a crazy hateful vendetta against me. protect me. protect my right to work. all my coworkers went to bat for me. but that don't do **** when the queen wants to cut your head off for some perceived slight.

It's hard. In fact, I am going through multiple issues myself, but you just have to put one foot in front of the other. That is how I got my determination to run in the past.
I had stopped running...built up to six miles daily, but stopped after gaining about twenty pounds in one month. All due to medication for depression because of the job that I loved and hated so much. I gained 14 pounds in 14 days alone, and the rest just piled on a little more slowly after that.
People who go around hurting others obviously have a feeling of entitlement. Somehow, they forget that they have power over others and should use it wisely. They are definitely off-kilter in their sense of self-importance and their duty and obligation to others.
I do hope that the union does everything they can for you to get your job back. It is good that you are letting them know just how important this is for you. But, try not to get your hopes up or become disappointed if they fail you. You cannot control others' moves, so you are somewhat at their mercy but you can stay positive in spite of it.
Of course, I am not saying this is easy. It takes a lot of concerted effort to keep ourselves motivated.
You are doing the right thing, though, by plugging on and not giving up. I know that you feel that you are a drain to others right now, but you just need encouragement like anyone in your situation. If anyone said that they did not need that, they would by lying.
Try not to think about this woman you just dealt with...and then, you do need to consider whether you really want to go back to that place, after all. It's so much bad karma.
The one thing you must remember is that your conscience is clear. You said that you spoke out of irritation one day and you fault yourself. However, perhaps she was goading you to do it because it is in her nature to push others' buttons. None of us are perfect, ejovan...stop blaming yourself for other people's bad behavior.
I have to admit, my job caused me to have a little bit of a drinking problem, too. I was in such a state of stress, that I literally felt that I was going to jump out of my skin. I couldn't stand the physical sensations of being closed in and the tightness all around me...It was an anxiety attack that turned into panic attacks, and I didn't even realize that until much later.
Believe me, sometimes when people know that you are efficient at what you do or that you have other aspirations, the first thing they want to do is knock you down. Don't ever feel that what someone does to you is your fault. Otherwise, you are only be doing what other victims do: Blame themselves.
You are not a victim unless you make yourself out to be one. You have a lot of great qualities and I want you to write down all the things that make you special as a person. Then, I want you to make a list of all the things that make you a great employee, including the skill and talent that you bring to your job.
Keep in touch.

lil dipper, i did make mistakes. if i was smarter, even if i was on time and a person that the manager liked said i was late, i should've nodded my head in agreement and said i was late. i am just giving you an example. i did make mistakes, but they were human mistakes and i did not deserve this and i did not deserve to be hated by this woman and want to be harmed so horribly by her.

i finally got around to sending out a few resumes today. took me forever. but that done i will try to tackle a few other productive things. i had a walk, went on a short date, talked to an old friend, saw my bff who lives nearby made soup, split a beer with my date and then sent out 3 resumes.

i tried to have a life, but everything feel flat. even the beauty of the day, the perfect weather, it all falls flat without a job and a career. last night i had a dream i was living on the side of the road, out of a bag, toothless and suddenly i was standing in a soup line in the cold snow.

these are my dreams. and waking isn't much better. the job market makes me want to weep. i dream of the job in wisconsin, it is a great job, but i have very little faith that i will get it. i am going to have one more beer and then read up on pediatric echocardiography, which i don't know much about but that is the job i am shooting for, cuz adult echo aint happening especially for a middle aged woman with a termination behind her.

my desk is discouraging. the job market. my whole life in suspended animation, like i am half alive or something otherworldly. otherworldly. how could anyone be so cruel to me.

my union says they can't guarentee me an appeal. they are too lazy.

i keep emailing them. they should do it. we have a great case. and they have nothing but the managers ill will written down in black and white over and over again.

i am afraid and i should be. afraid of my dream. my dreams come true and i wish i could have a good dream already, but that is not happening.

god, you are a nurse. you will get another job soon. guarenteed. there is no question. i would trade to be you anyday and so would most people. don't let this one experience drive you out of a wonderful profession. this happens all the time, but you are still needed. and all that crap about estrogen and etc, it could happen in any workplace. and you are right about that person being cruel and criminal to you, but think about what went wrong when and what you could've done differently and apply it to your next situation. don't get me wrong, i know there a lots and lots of maniacs out there, believe me, but you need to accept some responsibility, even if you did NOTHING to deserves someone's hatred or losing your livelihood. or else it will just happen again even if you change professions. again, i am not blaming you, just figure out what it was that went wrong and when. changing environments doesn't help always, sometimes, even when it is not fair at all, we have to change.

my problem is have to speak gently to everyone all the time . all the time. i should know that at my age but sometimes we are human beings, and there is always someone waiting to exploit a mistake for some reason, a personal vendetta, financial reasons, etc. i'm so disgusted today and i would do something else if i could, but i ain't got **** in my head. not ****.

The truth is, I find nursing to be a very boring profession. I did not decide to leave nursing because of one person. I am a much too intelligent to let someone like that bother me.
However, your dream is pretty interesting. I read that dreams about tooth problems signify problems in your health or profession.
On the other hand, I dreamed that I ate a singing pretzel that was on display. It was supposed to be a prop, and I didn't realize it until afterward.

I'm so happy for ur optimistic outlook and sense of humor. U a blessed with a strong spirit. I know what dream was about. It was very litteral. Fear of or impending poverty. The job market is frightening for me. I was supposed to have the second half of my gum surgery after Januarycuz I've exausted my dental insurance I used to have for my Periodontal disease last year.

I know what my dream was about. What my manager mdid to me was a hate crime. Motivated by the most moronic and petty wronghearted bad feelings in the world. What she has done to me is a hate crime. It is so overwhelming I still have trouble getting out of bed somedays.

I'm preparing for a phone interview me t week. I pray I getthe job I will have to move. Leave my home friends family my part time job it is criminal what she has done all over nothing