Idk growing up with an alcoholic parent the cycle

I grew up with an alcoholic father. He physically abused my mom and verbally/emotionally/mentally abused my mom, myself and siblings. I swore I would be strong enough to leave if ever in an abusive relationship. Last week I ended a near three year relationship with an alcoholic/bpd. I suppose it is going to take time to regain confidence and to forgive myself. I already forgave him though I haven't my dad. I cut off all communication with my dad because its just not worth it. Thanks for hearing me out

Hi Oceangirly, welcome to Support Groups. I admire you for posting your story here & for thinking through your feelings w/your current situation as difficult as it can be sometimes. Have you & your partner ever talked about seeking some advice or counseling if affordable, if both are willing? I can only say from my past experiences that the behavior of your current situation usually leads back into ones past history, the way one IS raised & sometimes genetic links do play a roll. It takes time to find answers as to WHY one would surround themselves w/certain types of people or circumstances that they do. We're all here for you when you feel like talking some things out.

Take care of you.


Hi oceangirly, How are you doing today? Good for you on having the strength to leave the relationship. No one deserves to be abused in any manner. Keep coming and sharing with us. I know how much it helps to talk. We are here for you. ((((hugs))))

oceangirly .... I kind of get the impression you are wondering about the cycle you might possibly be in.

If this assumption is right ....

You can learn how to avoid being caught in the circle by identifying those traits that you know. Then, when you recognize what it was and is that attracts you to these sort of people, then you can avoid them.

If you need help in indenting those traits, a therapist could help you figure that out.

If my assumption was wrong .....

I'm sorry about that.

I'm sorry about that.

Give yourself kudo's,living with is as a child, chosing to live without it as an adult. Good for you. Still alanon would be good to try if you haven't yet. Great comment.

From Substance Abuse to Mental & Physical Abuse