Idk why I put myself through this. It never changes. He al

Idk why I put myself through this. It never changes. He always ends up hurting me in the end. I wish I knew why I let him do it. I know how it always ends. The control he has over my heart is sickening. So tired of being the back up. Toying with me just makes you the ******* everyone tells me you are.

1 Heart

i left the narcissist.. once again. I really want it to be my last time. as every time I leave I go back. I really don't want to get worse. The first time I left I was so strong bout it, but then I don't know why each time I leave it seems to mean less and less of leaving and more of just "being mad". I'm not sure how to explain, i'm so emotionally numb and left here with no one. I'll let him be the victim he can be that all he wants. However, my feelings aren't justified. I wish he died. I don't, but I don't know how else to express my feelings. I really don't want to seem like the bad guy, I think he made me seem like that. I don't know I hate everything. Please help me if you know what I'm going through. I don't want to seem clingy or codependent but this is all I know right now. save me. i wasn't acting like this desperate before, i was influenced by him. I don't want to control anyone, but i feel all my actions and thinking is like HIS. not MINE.

@Ayedubsta i feel the same, i don’t know why i put myself through these things.