Ok, so I know and have read the facts. However surviving this is not fun. Went to eat with family tonight. As always I was in tune with not eating but making sure that I ate enough to make everyone happy. However now I feel sick and in so much pain. The heartburn seems to get worse everyday all day. Sorry I guess I just needed to vent. It is not like anyone around here understands. Maybe in a little while I can get some rest and tomorrow will be better.
Hi...'just' surviving is NOT fun, but please believe me, if you get good treatment and recover, life will be more than you ever imagined! Living your life to please or appease others is not the way to go, but I did it too, and it played right into the eating disorder.
Please continue to vent, and seek professional help if you haven't already....and don't give up!!
Take care..Jan ♥
HAHA! I have no idea how not to please. I was raised to be that typical southern woman. I have been in counseling. I was moving slowly and steadily. But now others want me to speed up so,(they say my weight is too low) this week I will be hearing from a program. I really do not want to go and not sure how I can go. But I told others that I would listen to options. This crap does hurt. Everytime I move closer and closer to swinging to purge. That was just one meal and the idea of going though that day after day doesn't appeal.
Thanks for caring and your concern and listening to me vent.
JA
JA...I hope the program option works out for you. You don't deserve to suffer one day longer. Recovery is hard to imagine and very frightening when you are looking from the outside in, but please trust me, it's worth the fight!! Take care..♥
Weekends are hell. Today I was back to my routine. My habits keep me safe. Things are good today. I also have made a point to keep tums in my bag at all times. I wonder just how many I can use. So far a normal dose is good. Thanks for listening janurse. Now for bed and to conquor my to do list tomorrow.