I'm 8 days sober from deciding to quit alcohol. This isn't t

I'm 8 days sober from deciding to quit alcohol. This isn't the first time I decided to quit. I'm 24, I'm a graduate student.

Despite the new found sobriety. I feel somewhat of a feeling of saddness. I feel like I lost friendships to people to I befriended during the last year, but there was no burned bridges actually formed per se. It's just a feeling I have had, because a substance was used within the friendship in question.

Most of the friendships or relationships I've had in college, centered on a substance of some kind(I estimate about 95-98%). I wasn't looking for it, it just came into the picture directly or indirectly.

I had some good and bad moments during that whole time I drank or used or whatever.

Though, I still feel like I was missing something like more friendships, more partying, and losing my virginity. I did the first two, but never lost my virginity. I still feel jealous at times when people, have had sex or about to have sex and it infuriates me that I haven't.

I feel like I'm sober yet I feel some bitterness and saddness of the past 5 1/2 years, that I feel like some "failure" in a sense of comparing myself to guys my own age and any "success"(friendships, jobs, money, good cars, clothes, gilrlfriend/wife,) to my own which is a lot for me to swallow. I somewhat see myself as a loser towards guys my own age because I don't have a good paying job, I don't have lots of friends, I don't have the good girlfriend or wife, I don't have the house with the two car garage. I'm a part time employee at a college and a full time grad student that lives on campus with freshman and still has to rely on parents' support. And also I deal with periods of anxiety/social lonelines/anxiety/mood swings/depression alongside dealing with dysfuncational family issues and some alcoholism traits.

I had good and bad times of partying but it's hard to write it off as 100% good or 100% bad.

I just feel like a crossroads because I'm unsure if I can find more friends without drinking because throughout college, drinking was always been the tea and biscuits for relationships someway shape or form. With the gone, I feel like it's going to suck.

I was in a recovery program last year in my college but it somewhat felt boring and cheesy, and I didn't feel the need I actually needed it at some points last year, I crawled back to it because of the stuff I was dealing with this entire semester.

I have 8 days sober, but I feel like I'm at a crossroad at my life of continuing to stay sober or try to balance sobriety with some drinking here and there at times.

1 Heart

Have you looked into joining A.A. ? My friend speaks very highly of it! It helps her so much with accountability... I think she even has daily phone calls to check in with the mentor....
I hope you find the help you're seeking here too.

1 Heart

@TennisPlayer. Yeah I’ve been in AA in/out since February. I was in AA from February 2014-early May 2014 in the small town I was getting my undergrad. I had a chill sponsor, I graduated with my BA and headed back to my hometown of San Antonio. I got into the Young AA(YPAA) scene for a bit then got bored of it and thought it was too cheesy. I was in the recovery center bandwaggon at my college, then went back out and in for a while, now I’m back. But I’m unsure what to do now.

Me too 7 days! Wooohooo well done you

My name is Justin, I am an addict.

Congratulations on 8 days!

To have a successful recovery you must give up the reservation that you can live a normal life AND drink. "We are people with the disease of addiction who must abstain from all drugs in order to recover." Reservations leave a spot for your disease to live and come out later. Don't cheat yourself out of recovery.

Addiction is a disease of the mind, body, and spirit. The mind because we obsess over it. Here you are writing in a support group about your addiction. The body because we compulsively use. Without recovery you will go back to drinking, or you'll just be miserable; and the spirit because we forget about others. We become selfish and self-centered. Our unhappiness is somebody else's fault. We use people. We lie, cheat, and steal. We manipulate. Ultimately we isolate, and hide in desperation.

Life is not about partying or having a great job or car. It's about being a good person and helping others.

For a moment pretend there are no material possessions; no cars, houses, clothes or even good looks, just naked humans. In this world who would be seen as successful? The most admired person is the person who takes the time to help others. Happiness lives in selflessness.

I was just like you. I always looked at what others had and compared myself to them. I never looked at what I had. When my wife finally left me I realized that stuff is just stuff. Screw it all. I am not happy without my wife. .Material possessions are not a measure of a person's worth.

Your shortcomings are a result of your addiction. You see them as shortcomings because you are not grateful. You wallow in self pity. You are self-centered, selfish.

You need to get over yourself. Get out of your own way. Saying that meetings are cheesy is a great excuse to not go. Your disease will fool you with that BS as long as you allow it to - and no longer.

Do yourself a favor: listen in the meetings. Don't see the differences in others, see the similarities. Understand that the members of AA have gone through exactly what you are going through. Look to them for guidance and compassion.

I hope this helps you.

1 Heart

@scorpion91 You are only. 24 years old! You already want to give up on Life, and your dreams of higher education..... Why? You have so much to live for, and you don't see it all, do you? I am twice yor age, and if I could go back to college, I would! ...... But I can't because I have a family, and they're depending. You have the opportunity, and you are certainly giving up on it. You don't think you belong, your peers have money, gurlfriends, wives, good jobs, etc. You think that is Sucess? You wanted a girlfriend or wife, a significant other.... But are you ready for a relationship? When you've to get your act together.....Also you think with bitterness of your 5 and half years at college, You had good, and bad times, most times you drank, and used?.... You are 8 days sober. Good for you! Alejuliah! Yes moved on, and tried to decide, what you want out of Life. Maybe you should see a counsellor, or therapist to assist with your issues.... Good luck on your sobriety. Remember you're not alone, SG friends are here, yo support, and be supported. Be strong the best is yet, to follow..... Hugs my friend.