I'm a new member, and I'm worried and scared and feel I need

I'm a new member, and I'm worried and scared and feel I need support. At a very early age I watched my dad take things from stores, he didn't know I used to see him do it but I did and I would ask for things knowing I wud get it from him taking it. Growing up I started to take things as a chils from stored like makeup, and small things like this. I was a child/teenager and was what I thiught as acting out or growing up and doing something I shudnt.
As I've got older I will take from stores, self scan machines and things like this even if its one item and in my head I called it getting my tax back.
However over the years either when drunk or sometimes not, I have taken from a friend or loved one, not meaning anything by it, but I just did it and I can't explain why, may just be something little suck as makeup, or a book or change from the side.
Something just impulses within me to do it.
And I havent a clue why.

This weekend I did it to a friend on a night out I took money from her bag and as soon as I did it I instantly regretted it and didn't know what to do,
She noticed the money was gone and I shud have just told her there and then but I was too worried so I just placed it on a seat so she wud find it and she did.
Shes messaged me saying she knows it was me basically. And now all my friends are not speaking to me and are all against me and I don't know what to say or do to make it better. I feel the lowest I ever have ever, and I feel so ashamed and guilty. Has anyone else experienced this ??

I have not myself. Know of some who have.
In your case I don't think you get a "high." I think you're needing something deeply personal.
If you come clean with your friends. Say you are truly sorry. And tell them you are struggling with this and need help. If any of them are your real friends they will be there for you. And maybe they will even help you get help from a good therapist.

1 Heart

@Inmylittlerroom, @Anonymous30: therapy is a great idea as well as being honest With your friends
that you are a bit out of control. if therapy is not available, this group is a great start. Many of us have bad habits/addictions that we may not truly understand. Al anon type groups may also provide additional support if needed.

What would you say if you found out your partner has this problem?
Or one of your friend's?

I would completely support them, and make sure they wasn't felt isolated x

1 Heart

What do you think you will do?
Talk to your friend's?

I havent a clue I can't even admit it to myself, what am I supposed to say to them .

@Anonymous30
Say sorry, and that you need help.

From Anxiety & Panic Disorders to Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)