I'm afraid to come out. Afraid to be myself. Afraid to be a

I'm afraid to come out. Afraid to be myself. Afraid to be a bisexual girl that's seen as strong minded and also Catholic. But what if I'm not Catholic. What if I'm not as strong as they think? What if my morals and my whole being goes against the church? WHat will my family think when I do come out. oh right. That's not going to happen because I was sexually molested by a girl I thought was my best friend but really was just the worst thing that ever came into my life. And when I told my dad, who not to mention loves this other girl, he took her side. He chose a 13 year old girl who hurt me, physically, emotionally, over his 13 year old daughter. SO when I do come out will my family think I cried rape for attention? will they disown me and say I wanted it? But if only they knew how much it tears me down. How its been about 2 years since the first time it started, and 4 months since I told someone about it, and that same girl who hurt me almost everyweek I saw everyday. Whenever I see her I get flashbacks. and how I wish I never told anyone...

2 Hearts

I am so sorry that your father didn't believe you, that is beyond cruel! https://www.rainn.org/ is an amazing organization who will assist you in getting the help you deserve, the help your parents didn't get you. As far as coming out, how old are you? I ask because I am never for someone staying in the closet, but if it would jeopardize a child having a place to live and food, then I suggest waiting until you are out of the house and not relying on their money.

@CKBlossom 14 in a month, thank you for your care and concern. Im not living with my dad now, in fact we are moving and im getting the courts permission to never see him. But yea, i was planning on waiting till college, it just feels like a long ways to wait and if a girl came along i couldntr exactly explain it to my parents.

Jmusic101… you beautiful wonderful creature .. it is my turn to repay the favor..you were the first to respond to my first post on this site and when I read this I could not believe here we yet again have something in common. I am going to be 37 this year so I am secure and proud of my sexuality at this point but I understand where you are at. I am a bisexual woman. I have always known. We are who we are from the moment we come to be. I hope I do not offend anyone when I say, so please if everyone could not mis-interpret what I am about to say. Religion can be a double edged sword. It is my belief that the bible has been manipulated by men over many many years. I know truly in my heart that God, Mother Earth, The Great Spirit, Shiva, Krishna.. what ever name you know Him/Her by… would not condemn any person being themselves. We are made this way for a reason.. to bring diversity and beauty to the world through our beautiful differences. I know many Catholic churches that are really coming around. My feeling is that Religion has become an institution whearas spirituality is where the truth is still at. Do not worry about denominations.. worry about the values you hold true that you love through Catholism. You can still be connected to God no matter where you are, church or no church and no matter what denomination you fall under. Now, as for the molesting.. shame on your father for not believing you. On the other side, we are all human and make mistakes. Is your Father otherwise loving and supportive? Is it perhaps that he is experiencing trauma from this news and is in some form of denial that his daughter has been hurt like this? Also, unfortunately there are people who still are very uneducated in the understanding of LGBT people. Being molested by someone of the same sex does not “make” you bisexual. You are born this way. It is who you are. I was raped at 13 as well by a man. I am attracted to women and men.. so does that mean I wanted it? No I didn’t . Stand tall little lady! You will be ok. I would get therapy, I wish I had right away but did not until 10 years later. Message me any time. I’m hear for you. And come out when you are ready.. Congratulations on knowing who you are. It’s a beautiful thing. I am going to post a song for you that I wrote a few years ago. I hope you will connect with it. I wish I could sing it to you.

@BrokenGuitar .Thank you! Okay, so I’m really bad at replying to things that help me but this deserves better than what I give so bear with me here. XD

I completely agree that Religion is “a double edged sword” But I can also say that I don’t want to be apart of a Catholic church, or any Church for that matter, with a group of people that thinks that God shuns/ automatically condemns the act AND the person. But this part helped me come to terms that no matter what Religion I am I will still be with God, or whomever I end up believing in throughout my life.

Umm as far as my father goes, No. Very.Unsuppotive. In fact after July 28th ill never have to see that batcrap crazy person again! (and I couldn’t be happier)

Being bisexual is who I am and I’m so f-ing perfect this way. XD Personally (and yes I know this is weird) I hate therapists. I hat the fact that they care but they won’t help unless you pay them. SOmetimes I cant decide if they care about me, or care about the check afterwards. Also I cant open up very easily and get anxiety.

All in all this post meant a lot to me and I cannot thank you enough!

I hope you like this song.. wish I knew how to post audio on this.. maybe i'll make a video to sing to you

I am nothing more than what you see, before your eyes * I am made of earth, for what it's worth, I have no pride.
What good is life, to live and die, if you can't find, the in between * You're strange and cold, worn and old, obscure and obscene.
Chorus:
You find that you are,
Falling apart
You can't leave now
Shows about to start
You paid to see a
Woman fall apart
I have to be more than
What you are
If your whole life you tried in vane,
To be somone a little more sane,
To be a little more of what you
Are alot,
To be someone you are
Not
A little less weird, little less strange A little more what you can't change More beautiful, more thin more tall, More more more , more more more
Chorus:
You find that you are,
Falling apart
You can't leave now
Shows about to start
You paid to see a
Woman fall apart
I have to be more than
What you are
You break your back just to bend over
tie your feet to fit the shoes of your lover
Change your name, change your face
But you're still you no matter the place
Darlin, Sweet child, did it surprise you?
When you found that they had
lied to you?
Died and cried for you, hide you, abide you, tested and tried you, lied to you, lied to you
You find that you are,
Falling apart
You can't leave now
Shows about to start
You paid to see a
Woman fall apart
I have to be more than
What you are

@BrokenGuitar Such beautiful song lyrics! I would love to hear you sing it :). Thank you so much for sharing it with me!
And this is crazy, but yet another thing we have in common. Lol I was up until 3 writing songs and I love to sing and play the ukulele!