I'm also wondering.when making the decision to get a divorce, how does the "untangling" happen while still living together? Do you have to now stop talking to each other or stop sharing personal things? Stop discussing certain things? Do you stop including them in your daily plans? How does this all happen? Off course you need to come apart somehow, but how? Obviously the vibe is not always just bad, so what. To do? It really sucks. Like you HAVE to do something you don't even want to do or can afford to do, even though you also really don't want to do it, but you also realise it's the only way. lots of confusion and sadness for the situation.
I don't think there is a single way. Each couple's situation is different. I initially intended to act as normal as possible for the kids. We continued to share a bed and do things together.
But, when my husband started openly dating I couldn't. So, we separated our lives within the house. He lived in the basement. I talked to him sparingly.
He was miserable, but all he had to do was refrain for 5 months and he couldn't. And, I didn't deserve that level of disrespect and sure wasn't going to have my girls think it was OK and normal.
My husband left in July after an arguement. He's been threatening to divorce every time we had an argument every since beginning of our marriage. He had a minor car accident 2.5 years ago, got released from the hospital within a few hours. He has not been working since then, not helpng with housewotks nor kids' homeworks. Being a KING at home and yelling at us all the time. So in July, when he threatened again that he's going to leave and I just said go ahead. He took off, stayed at his mom's place for a couple of months. Moved back to our basement in Sep saying he wants to get closer to the kids. But he doesn't really spend time with the kids or make them meals or anything, nor pay for mortgage. Started in Oct, I made him pay for half the mortgage and in Nov I asked him to look after kids' meals half the time so he takes some responsibility as a dad. I haven't really talked to him since he took off in July. We only message each other but only for stuffs that are necessary about the kids or the house. We cook and eat separately. He would come upstairs or to my room to get stuffs. It's an uncomfortable feeling having him around. I want to move on to have a clear cut from him, but worry not only that i may not get any child support from him but I may have to share my possessions from all my hardworks since he hasn't worked for the past 2.5 years. He is never transparent on how much he possess or how much he made, which makes it even harder in terms of dividing properties.
@Kaze i understand.that really sucks.so sorry.