I'm an incest survivor that married a "safe" man over 30 years ago. My ex-husband came out as gay and then walked out on me and my 16 year-old daughter two years ago, just after I was left blinded by an eye injury and two months before our daughter was diagnosed anorexic. Life's been hell. I've lost my house, my credit is destroyed to the point that I can't qualify for a parent loan for my daughter's college costs. My ex continues to do what he can to destroy me. I've lost my business due to my eye injury and an inability to cope. I go to bed each night hoping I don't wake - I have an insurance policy that will go to my daughter, which will give her a chance to get away and begin to heal. I can't function well anymore.
The most important thing your daughter needs from you is to show her how to survive this cruel world. If you can't give her anything else, give her that. Give it to your grandchildren too. Every time i feel like i can't go on i think about what my grandparents went through and how they still laughed and loved and went on. It makes me feel like my problems are minuscule in comparison.
Hugs to you dear dmrcpa. You have been dealt a whole series of cruelty. I cannot imagine the depth of hopelessness and despair you're living right now. The fact that your daughter was diagnosed with anorexia tells you that BOTH of you have been devastated by these events.
Find a support group (separate from this one) where you can meet with people, perhaps one that you and your daughter can go to together. Get with a counselor, I am seeing a counselor that ministers to me greatly, found her through a local church. Contact your local (state?) department of social services, and ask for help. With your vision loss/impairment, you should be eligible for some social assistance and maybe even disability accommodations help.
Get a few of your friends on speed dial, have a few people you can call anytime for support. I have several. Many say take it one day at a time, for me, that's too much. Just work on getting through one moment at a time. In the meantime, do something, anything. Make a grocery list, organize your dresser. Plan a meal with your daughter and cook it together. Watch a comedy, I am binge watching Hot in Cleveland.
Keep posting and let us on this site encourage you.
Thank you. Just knowing there are others out there helps. I am not good at asking for aide and this site makes it easy. Many of my "friends" believe my narcissistic ex and think I just need to get over it, without any recognition of the serious damage that man has done.
@dmrcpa Find different ones for support. You can meet more at a divorce support group. My limited understanding of narcissists is that they are superb actors; he fooled you into marrying him. Don’t be surprised he’s fooled your friends.