I'm having a bit of a rough day. I was discarded awhile bac

I'm having a bit of a rough day. I was discarded awhile back by a "friend" who I believe to be a narcissist (or to at least have strong narcissistic tendencies). After the discard, I went as no contact as possible, but there are many people in my life who are likely flying monkeys in disguise and I am unable to completely break contact with these people.
The first problem I'm having is that my doubt keeps resurfacing. I keep thinking that maybe he is just an immature young man who acted poorly then ran away out of shame and in a desperate attempt to get his life on track. Maybe he's not narcissistic and I'm just not worth having as a friend. Maybe he is just living a life which is fantastic without me.
The other problem is an unconventional smear campaign (for lack of a better description). There are, of course, many people in my life who don't know what I went through and can't understand if I explain it to them. If I try to explain it, I look like the crazy one who can't let go. So I try not to talk about it, but 1) my narc is an expert at image management and 2) he isn't dumb enough to trash talk me openly. He is a master of implication. To the best of my knowledge, he hasn't launched a full-blown smear campaign in a typical way. It appears to me that he uses his silence to imply what he knows nobody would believe (and could actually be DISproven) if he said it outright. His silence allows imaginations of mutual friends and acquaintances to run with the little seeds of information he planted prior to the discard. He also uses image management (mostly through his unwitting flying monkeys) to portray himself as happily moving on with his life...the model of the perfect worker/son/husband/friend. So I must be the crazy, awful, horrible person, right? I see lots of stuff out there about how the victim of a smear campaign should not address the issue or try to correct misinformation, but this guy is a pro...he's not spreading misinformation...he's allowing everybody to jump to their own conclusions. It's a Catch-22-- if I defend myself or speak up about my abuse, he's got me in a bind and, if I remain silent, I just "confirm" his silence in the minds of mutual friends and acquaintances.
Advice? Perspective?

..... your silence just means YOU HAVE MOVED ON....STOP worrying about what his Silence means. Who gives a rat AZZ about him anyway? YOU SHOULDN'T. STAY STRONG ,DON'T GIVE ANOTHER MOMENT OF YOUR EXISTENCE TO HIM.... anyone who ask you what happened, if they're not RELEVANT TO YOUR RECOVERY, THEY'RE NOT RELEVANT TO YOU.....

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From Personality Disorders to Narcissist Abuse and Trauma