I'm having a hard time today. It's been 5 weeks since my husband left. Trying to be optimistic. I've got 2 interviews for jobs next week, cleaned my house, my kids seem happy, lawn is mowed. I feel anxious in a negative way about the future. My husband is still sleeping on his mother's couch and sends me texts of how he is so miserable. He went to lunch with one of his good friends and I think he encouraged him to ask me on a date. I declined. He hasn't contacted our daughter, I feel he is just selfish and wants to see if he still feels anything for me. He doesn't want to do counseling with me either. He said I'm asking for too much. On top of this my mother is very critical that my marriage is not working out.
2 Hearts
Being anxious is very natural! We've all been there. It should fade with time. In the meantime, though, make sure to take care if yourself. Stress can make you neglect yourself, which can increase your level of stress.
Ate you eating right? Staying hydrated? Getting enough sleep?
2 Hearts
@InMyDreams not eating, staying hydrated, or getting enough sleep. lol so no I guess im not taking care of myself. pretty depressed, low self esteem, rejected. I know time should help but time is going by so damn slow. He lost his job too, idk whether to be there for him like in person or just call and text him. he seems he wants nothing to do with me though.
Hi! I can very much relate to what you are going through. I'm so impressed that you are doing this on your own, and with kids! Try to feel proud of yourself, that's freaking amazing. I also am currently separated from my husband. I am 29, and we have been together for 10 years. I really have never had a breakup before. It is so hard to even think about anything else. I mostly just want to fix the situation, but am slowly giving up as well. You should read 'Living Beautify with Uncertainty and Change'. It is an amazing book, and calms me down almost immediately.
2 Hearts
@valerievalara thanks! may I ask what caused your break up? my husband and I argued a lot and then alienation. I still want to be married and be with him but I feel he has checked out and I’m can’t wrap my head around it. I told him I wanted to work things out and then he asked me to go on a date. idk why I declined, I guess I feel he just wants to see what he feels and I don’t think I can handle anymore rejection.
My husband is actually a sex addict. So pretty freaking complicated. Everything was acted out online, but it hurt me intensely. He is kind of in denial again, and refuses to believe that is why he wanted he separation. He couldn't handle my pain from the last discovery of his talking to someone. Now he's trying to blame other things in our relationship. It's so hard, I think I might end the separation/or make it more permanent. I'm having trouble really doing it. I understand the anxiety. I'm also feeling it a lot today.
@valerievalara sorry to hear that 
have you tried counseling? has he? maybe just stay away from him so he doesn’t keep blaming and hurting you. it’s really unfair for him to blame you with him having the addiction.
It has been 6 weeks for me since my husband told me he wants a divorce. We are still living in the same house. He works out of the country so he leaves June 2 for 28 days. Then he will return July 1. He will not change his mind and I have come to grips with that. So now I am putting my resume in every where. I have been a stay at home mom for 6 years. I am just ready to keep moving forward so we can separate. Since he won't give me time to fix what Ive done wrong I just want the pain to pass and keep working to improve myself. Someone else will love me for me and it makes me so sad he doesn't see what he is throwing away.
1 Heart
@sweetenuf you are inspirational! I wish I had your strength. I am trying everyday to be okay with myself. I have been a stay at home mom for 5 years and my husband left me and my kids crying at the door for him… it still haunts me. He has been so miserable as well, just lost his job last week he says but said he is happier without me.
I do not know how you all are so strong. I feel like Im about to break. The only thing keeping me sane is my 2 boys but they do not understand. He is being such an ***
2 Hearts
@crysdmiller i watch my kids play and see that they are happy makes me feel like things are going to be okay. i have my moments and start crying out of no where and my kids would lay by me and comfort me. i feel guilty for crying in front of them that i lock myself in the bathroom and cry. i don’t want them to feel or see that i’m in pain. stay strong, my friends keep telling me life is too short to be miserable and I can’t let my husband drag me down.
I wonder the same. I am going insane. Can't believe my husband wants a divorce. We were so happy together. I am so heart broken and I miss him so much. It hurts. Wish I could take something to numb the pain.
@Onlyme_12121213 right now for me laughter, support groups, family and friends, and time is helping me cope… hope it does for you too.
For me, I love him with my whole heart and it kills me that I can not show him how much I am sorry for hurting hi with my words and never seeing it. I have talked and talked and read and read. Unfortunately I do understand why he is done. If you throw a plate against the wall and break it can you use that plate again? Well as many times I didn't see it is as many times he was cracking. I finally broke him. He may have been mean and cruel too but I always chose to forgive and forget and he didn't. But he is not me and he dealt with our fights differently. I do not hate him. I do not agree with his decision. I am very scared to start over. I am very much leaning on my support groups, counselor, friends and family. Once I saw where he was coming from and also when I accepted he wasn't going to change his mind it has helped me realize I have to get my crap together to survive for me and my son. (He will be 15 in July)
2 Hearts
@sweetenuf I lived the other side of that. My wife used me up because she assumed that I would put up with her addiction forever, no matter how much she hurt me and our son. But it turned out I had a breaking point after all. Even love has limits. It can be killed.
Our divorce was approved two weeks ago. Our son is 13.
It hurts. But we will all survive and build new lives, no matter how hard it is.
My husband left a month ago. I feel like he threw me away. The pain and the tears don't stop. I'm so lost.
1 Heart
I know that feeling. Hang tight, vent here, get some support (l'll start a bible study in a few weeks and hope to get with a Divorcecare group soon). Call a friend, get some hugs. It's okay to cry, crying sucks, but it helps.
1 Heart