I'm having a really hard time coping with my boyfriends ED. I feel like I've been cheated, led on by him and his promises. Six months ago he was so passionate and genuinely felt bad about not being able to get and erection and I felt sympathetic and had no problem hanging in there as long as we kept trying. He explained to me about how he wanted to have sex so badly and he just has this problem sometimes. So I waited and we were still being intimate so I wasn't too worried about it. But then a few times after that, still no erection. But he told me how he could do all these things to me when he will get an erection. So excitedly I waited a few more weeks. Then we saw a doctor and got a prescription for Viagra. Which worked shortly and caused him a massive headache so it ruined the moment and I felt terrible for asking him to take the pill. It became clear this was not an option and we began to argue, often. The past few months of arguing and no sex has caused both of us to be stressed but he has started saying mean things to me and telling me it's none of my business, he doesn't want to talk to me about it and he doesn't want to have sex with me. I feel defeated and cheated. I feel like were supposed to be doing this together and communicating honestly and openly. But every time I bring it up he gets so angry and it turns into a huge fight and we drift away a little farther each time. I love him but I'm out of options. Do I just shut up and live my life unsatisfied sexually and just keeping all those feelings and thoughts to myself. Because that makes me feel awful about myself. I want both of us to be happy but I don't know what to do.
At a certain point you either have to accept that this is your life, which doesn't sound like a whole lot of fun or love filled moments, erection or not, or you decide you are not waiting around for someone to figure out that you are worth fighting for. Hugs!
There are other options for him, but its up to him to seek the help. Cialis is another pill he could try AFTER he stops being a victim, am sure he's very frustrated/insecure & obviously projecting this onto YOU. Continue doing your best to not fall into the parental role figure, doing so only creates more distance/resentment & possibly deception from him. You "both" need to find better communication skills to practice. Talk as calmly as possible to him NOT at him, he needs to do the same, when he starts raising his voice, speak softly, tell him you hear him & try to not interrupt him (talk over him) if he's truly opening up to you, IF he continues trying to argue, then let him know you needs a time out to regroup your thoughts, otherwise its just a free for all, let him know your still willing to talk this through (until your not). Women want to fix things yet HE has to be a willing participant. See if he'll work together, IF not you have your answer.
My situation is similar and I have made the decision to leave because I know I can't spend a lifetime dealing with this both because of my desires and bf's attitude. I know how it must feel as man, not being able to perform but I also know as a woman how it feels to not be loved and catered to the way I want to and I would end up seeking what my relationship is lacking in someone else. I have been in 2 relationships before, one for 6 years and another for 3 where I tried and tried to make things work no matter how miserable I was, granted it wasn't ED it was still problematic relationships that needed more than I could give with my sanity in tact. So in fairness to him and myself I am leaving, it may seem like selfishness but you have to love yourself and know what you can deal with. I know that love is not enough for me to deal with this!! I need actual intercourse to be satisfied
Hi this reply is somewhat explicit. I've had much better results with Cialis so I'd say give it a try. Even the discount online stuff from India isn't half bad. Can your bf maintain an erection by himself? Since the traditional romantic expectations have faded, you might consider alternatives such as masturbating together or watching erotic movies with no judgement of each other. My first time with a girl I could not get it up for months and the first time I did was a big surprise after I covered her with body oil. See if he prefers a certain genre or position. Certainly it requires open minds. Worst case, you learn something about each other.