I'm hoping find some advice..... The back story to my cur

I'm hoping find some advice.....

The back story to my current situation is somewhat lengthy, so I'll try to sum it up. My first real relationship was very abusive. Sexually and emotionally, and very controlling. Down to how I pour water or stir food. It caused a lot of problems for each relationship that came after I left him. I usually left before any relationship could get serious. Tried to make one work because he seemed like a solid, good guy. Then I got pregnant and he left.

About 2 and a half years ago I met someone, and fell for him, but I got scared he'd never feel the same, so I left him. There were other issues also, but I didn't know how to work on them or confront them.

He kept trying to stay in contact over the last year and a half, and recently told me he loves me. That he did when I left him, but he was too nervous to tell me. We've started talking again, and spent Christmas weekend together. Things were going great between us, and I was really comfortable around him, able to be myself without feeling nervous at all. But after we were intimate, I hurt more than it should've and I bled, but I was afraid to tell him. I didn't want him to be mad. A friend convinced me to tell him that it was still hurting, and he did handle it normal. Like a good man would, I guess. He was frustrated that I didn't say anything, but very sensitive to my past and understanding.

I don't know if it triggered some of what happened while with my ex, but now I'm extremely nervous around him cuz I don't want him to see how shaken up I feel. Not because of him, but I guess....it feels like if open that door to telling him when I'm hurting down there, then all the motions from being hurt by my ex come flooding back and all I want to do is hide how I feel till I can curl up in the dark and cry my eyes out. Should I tell him this is how I'm feeling and possibly confuse him or irritate him? Or, just sort through these feelings till I get a handle on it by myself?

What a horrible ex. Was the baby unexpected? Sex should not be uncomfortably painful like that, especially making you bleed. You should be able to say when it hurts. If he gets mad about that, he may not be a good partner

@MiedoNoEsAmor speak up when it hurts during intercourse. Woh wait why how what it made you bleed, that’s really rough sex :frowning: